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of material had become her “blankie.” Eventually, after much resistance, she relented and the nurses took away her blankie for washing. They removed her precious securi ty blanket, cleaned it, folded i t and returned it to her freshly laundered. She never used it again, but she knew that she would keep it forever.
    Everyone wanted to know how she was feeling and if the pain had improved much. She hated constantly talking about it but it was such a huge part of her daily life that she couldn't help it. Despite the morphine and other strong painkillers, nothing could completely eradicate the incessant hurting. The night terrors were the worst thing for her, much worse than the physical agony. When she closed her eyes she would see the swirling, rising waters and whenever there w as a loud noise she became terribly frightened because she was immediately reminded of the eerie, crashing , roaring sounds of the tsunami. Banging noises terrified her more than anything else. She considered herself to be a strong person but any loud noises completely unnerved her.
    One particular day, her pain became unbearable. She couldn't stand the agony any longer. The nurses gave her as much medication as they could but it still wasn't enough to ease the searing pain. Maura called the doctor who came to her sister’s bedside immediately. He asked her to describe the pain, to tell him exactly what she was feeling and when she had finished he thought for a while before finally speaking.
    “Kerry ,” the wise doctor said. “Sometimes pain seems like it's much worse than it actually is. Pain is never that big. It's our minds that make it so much bigger. You must try to focus on something else; anything other than the pain. Think about objects, or people, or happy memories, or plans that you might have for the future. The pain will get easier and slowly subside. It's important that you remain cheerful and don't drift into sadness; otherwise you will become sad and depressed. You must try your best to be happy and remain positive, because when you are positive you will heal much faster.”
    The doctor's advice was so simple that Kerry decided to take it. His advice reminded her of the visualisation technique that she so regularly used in her own energy and meditation work. If she wante d something to happen she would imagine it happening , which she believed was a great he lp in achieving her goals. She had used the technique when she'd decided to run a marathon. She'd pictured herself running over the finishing line and when the big race day arrived she'd successfully run that marathon. She'd used the technique when she was being battered by the tsunami's waves and she'd willed herself to survive and cling to her life-saving tree. She'd willed herself to hold on and imagined herself full of strength to search for Conor and Saoirse.
    So she began to remember all the wonderful people in her life; past and present. Pictures ran through her mind of when she and Maura were little girls and living with their a unt and uncle. Aunt Aisling giving her and Maura a bath in their huge tub, sponging them with warm, soapy water and washing their hair with her camomile shampoo. She saw her grandparents and the beautiful forest behind their house. She saw her aunts, her uncles, her grandparents, her children when they were tiny babies and the wonderful Ballycotton House. She thought about all her friends who cared about her and who had been so kind to her. She pictured all their smiling, loving faces and she felt truly loved and blessed. She thought about all the people in Japan who were so kind and giving; but most of all, she thoug ht about Conor, and her mind flooded with so many beautiful memories of their lives together. She imagined the day they would be reunited and how there would be an even stronger bond between them because they had survived such a nightmare. It would bring them so close that nothing would ever tear them apart again. She fell asleep