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floor as the crash to the tile. I reach for my phone and dial Jace’s number. He answers on the first ring. Thank you.
    “This is a nice surprise. See aren’t you glad I gave you my number?” I do not have time for his smooth talking and cut him off abruptly.
    “I need you to get over here now and get me to the hospital. I’m pregnant, about 12-13 weeks. I’m bleeding and in a lot of pain. Please hurry.” I beg him, tears begin rolling down my face at the realization of what may be happening right now. Before I even get the last words out, loud banging echoes through the apartment.
    “I’m coming. It’s taking me a bit to get to the door.” I say grabbing every bit of strength to get up off the floor. I grip my stomach and trying to walk as fast as I can, yet not nearly fast enough each step sending shooting pains through my body.
    “Take your time and breathe. I’ll get you to the hospital.” His voice is calm and sure as he speaks to me through the door. I feel anything but.
    I twist the locks on the door and open it wide. “Shit.” He mutters, his eyes grow wide with panic as they trail up and down my body. “Come here.” He picks me up in his arms, holds me close to his body on the elevator ride down and places me into his car. “Breathe. I’ll get you there.”
    I bite my lip trying not to scream, but the pain is so intense, like nothing I’ve ever felt before, take cramping times a thousand. I close my eyes and rest my head on the seat biting back as much of the pain as I can. Jace doesn’t say a word, he just drives… Fast, but everything is a blur to me.
    Entering the ER, I tell the doctors and nurses in a rush as much as I can and they begin checking me from head to toe. They place me on a bed with wheels and move me here and there all the while my hands gripping my stomach tightly. The room they put me in is white and cold and IV’s are placed in my arms and big machines that make lots of noises are brought in. They make Jace wait outside the room and I am utterly alone.
    Tears stream uncontrollably down my face. I know my baby is gone. Deep down, I can feel the loss already.
    After what feels like hours, the doctor pulls his chair up to the side of my bed and sits next to my head. “Ms. Alexander. I’m very sorry, but the baby didn’t make it. At this time, we don’t know why or if there is a reason you miscarried.” Sobs escape my throat; my chest tightens to the point where I cannot breathe. I feel like I’m suffocating… dying. “I need to go in and do a D&C. That’s where I go in and clean up your uterus.”
    “No!” I scream loud. “You are not taking my baby out of me!” I pull away from him and try to get up from the table, but the wires and tubes coming out of my body slow me down. I begin pulling them off of my body in a panic, the plastic foreign to my touch.
    The doctor stands over me grabbing my arms. “Ms. Alexander. You must calm down. We must do the procedure, there is no choice.” His voice is trying to soothe me, but nothing will at this point.
    I stare at him fear ripping through me, my arms wrapping around my stomach. I never even told the father the baby existed and now it’s gone. Gone, just like my Dad.
    “I’m going to have the nurse give you something to settle you.” I continue to stare at the man, my mind coming up a big blank canvas, void and nothingness. I don’t have the will to stop him or argue with him anymore. I just don’t care. If my baby’s gone, I have nothing.

    “I’m so sorry Casey.” Jace’s voice whispers in my ear. I feel his hand rubbing the top of mine and I slowly open my eyes, the realization of what just happened hits me like a Mac truck.
    I yank my hand from his placing both of them over my face and sob, uncontrollably. I pour every bit of sadness, frustration and longing into the tears that go on forever. I just can’t stop.
    I feel Jace by me, but I do not acknowledge him. I don’t want him anywhere near me right