Read The Misadventures of Daria Pigwidgeon for Free Online

Like a vampire being shown a cross? I certainly hope not.
    But I’m not evil, I have a soul.
    That should count for something right?
    Right?
    While the Harris’s closed their eyes ceremonially, and place their hand up in the pose of prayer, I cringe. I don’t even bother mimicking them, what’s the point. Besides, I’m too busy waiting for whatever they say to send me bursting into flames or something. With that simple thought, I can feel my hackles rising. And I mentally prepare myself for a memory block. So much for my grand start over plan. Looks like it’s about to go up in flames.
    Hopefully not literally.
    Craig takes a breath, and I hold mine, as he speaks.
    “Gods of football, bless this meal so eloquently prepared by my loving wife. We ask that you watch over our boy Chance as it gets closer to the big Homecoming game. And take special care with his throwing arm, he’ll need it. Thank you Gods, we praise you.”
    By the time he finishes, my mouth is hanging open so wide, I’m sure a bird could fly in. Gods of Football? Seriously? This is new. I stay this way as they all begin to eat, like nothing weird just happened. Who prays for football? Not seeing any smoke or feeling flames on me, I’m just glad I didn’t light up like a cinder. The absurdity of it makes me feel lighter than air. I must have made a sound like a laugh, because Mellissa glances at me.
    “I know what you must be thinking. These crazy Yankee’s praying for football, what have I gotten myself into? Am I right?” She says in her warm singsong voice.
    Collecting myself, I take a bite of the food to keep from saying anything. Of course it’s weird, but it’s definitely welcome to me. After all, I’m a demon with a soul and with no clue if religion would harm me. So hey, who am I to stand in the way of people who pray for a good game.
    I shake my head at her and mime a smile over my full mouth.
    Ashley saves me from having to say anything, “That’s what I ask myself everyday mom. Where are my answers?”
    She flutters her eyelashes at her parents, from what I can tell trying to feign innocence. Clearly it doesn’t work, because in the next instant Craig slams a fist onto the table and shouts at her.
    “You speak Blasphemy young wretch, bite your tongue.” He says in a deeper gargled tone, with bright wide eyes that twinkle.
    Then he crosses his eyes and mock glares at her.
    She laughs. Mellissa laughs. I choke on a bite of chicken.
    ***
    The laughter dissipates as I have a coughing fit, and Mellissa reaches over and pats my back gently but firm. A chunk of chicken that feels like a bowling ball (but is no bigger than the small bite I took) passes down my throat. I pull in a gasping breath and get handed a glass of something that feels like ice going down.
    My eyes watered as I choked, and I can feel the wetness wanting to seep over my lids. I quickly wipe at them, none to subtlety, as I place the glass back on the table. Who are these people? Mellissa is right, what have I gotten myself into? A family that jokes and prays over something silly. I never thought I’d ever see such a thing. It makes my heart feel full. Like all these years it’s been empty. Waiting for the right people to fill it up.
    I have been waiting for this. I just hope it lasts.
    “Sorry about that kiddo. I forget my charm can come off a little strong to newbies.” Craig says gently.
    Looking up from the plate I’m stirring food around, I find that he looks guilty for some reason. Oh right. I just almost choked. Well, not really. I didn’t even feel threatened. If I did, I’m sure Mellissa would have felt a zap when she patted my back.
    That would have been awkward.
    I shake my head and say, “No it’s fine Mr. Harris. I don’t mind.”
    “Ah, she speaks.” He tells me with his grin returning.
    I smile back.
    “Of course she speaks. She’s just shy, right Daria?” Mellissa says softly to me “Which is nothing to be bothered by, it’s very