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speak. “They were busy with their lives, and I was pretty lost until I found football in high school. Those guys became my family and the game became my life.” I could hear the pain in his voice, and I remained still as I listened to him talk. “The women were just part of the lifestyle. I never cared for any of them but when I met you…something changed. I felt out of sorts, and I knew that I wanted you.” His hand slid up my stomach to cup my breast, and I shivered as my nipple perked up. “I didn’t think I could have you and certainly not this fast.”
    “It was too fast,” I murmured as he froze. Reality hit me as I realized what I’d done. I slept with a client and part of my staff, which was frowned upon. I slept with one of the biggest players in sports. Coach would be so disappointed in me. I let him down.
    “What do you mean?” His voice went cold, and I heard the despair in his tone. “Jennifer, what are you talking about?”
    “I work for you, with you. I shouldn’t be here.” I panicked as he tried to pull me closer. “This is wrong.”
    He tried to hold onto me as I slipped off the bed and looked for my clothes. “Jen, stop. Don’t do this.”
    “I can’t lose my job. Coach is depending on me…he gave me this job. I can’t betray him this way.” I was babbling but I didn’t care as I pulled on my clothes and felt something break inside of me.
    “I want to see you. I don’t want this to stop.” His voice was shaking as I stared back at him. I didn’t want it to stop either but I imagined the media getting a hold of this and how far it could go from there.
    “Justin, this was never a relationship. It wasn’t ever going to be,” I tried to convince myself as I thought back to the feelings that I’d started developing since I met Justin. “It was just something we had to get out of our systems. That’s all.”
    “Fuck, Jen. You’re wrong. I know that you felt something for me.” He was sitting up and moving towards me as I stepped away and out of the room to get my purse. He came out to get me, still naked, and I ran to the front door and stepped out. I hurried around the building before running to my car to drive home. I cried as I drove home. Justin had made me feel things that nobody ever had before. I tossed and turned in bed as I wondered what he was doing right now. He didn’t even have my number. But he’d had my body and my heart, though I’d never admit that.
    I’d messed up and nearly fucked up everything that I’d worked so hard for.
    I vowed never to let anybody find out as I tried to put the pieces back together and hold down my job.
     
     

Chapter Eight
     
    I dragged myself into practice after a sleepless night alone in a bed that smelled like Jennifer. I couldn’t get the vanilla scent mixed with honey out of my nose, and I felt miserable, worse than if I’d never had her at all. The coach took one look at me and ordered everyone else out onto the field as he pulled me aside. “What the hell is wrong with you, McLeod? Is your shoulder still bothering you?”
    “No, that’s not it. I didn’t feel well last night.” I wasn’t going to throw Jennifer under the bus since she seemed so terrified of anybody finding out.
    “Can you play today?” he asked, and I nodded stoically. I was always up for football since it was the only constant in my life. I practiced and held it together even as she watched from a seat in the first row. I went to see her after I finished and she went about her business methodically and without any small talk, but the circles under her eyes were prominent.
    “Why?” I asked her as she pressed heat to my skin.
    “It’s for the best.” That’s all she said, and I barely got her to say goodbye when I was leaving. It hurt deep inside, and I knew that I was given hope when she came to me and let me make love to her. I’d never made love before, and I thought back to coming inside of her as my throat closed.
    I walked to the