Read A Funny Thing About Love for Free Online

I’m ready for whatever you’ve got planned for me tonight.’ And he winked.
    â€˜You
so
are pissed!’ Carmen exclaimed, delighting in the fact that for once she had the upper hand, being sober.
    â€˜Get this down you, princess.’ Lottie handed her a double vodka and tonic.
    â€˜Why, thank you, Lottie, but you know how rarely I allow alcohol to pass my lips.’
    â€˜You don’t mind kissing Connor though, do you?’ Will put in.
    Lottie sat down at the table and immediately began a conversation with Trish, Daisy, Dirty Sam and Lovely Christina. She might as well wave a banner saying
I am trying to get Will and Carmen to get off with each other
and be done with it!
    â€˜What is this fixation about Connor? It was one kiss, one time, forced upon me!’
    Will took a long drink from his pint before replying, ‘So what kind of kisser was he?’
    â€˜Bad.’
    â€˜What’s bad?’ Will demanded. They were shoulder to shoulder, thigh to thigh. The butterflies were multiplying.
    â€˜It’s bad you’ve got to ask. Don’t you know what a bad kiss is?’
    â€˜Course, I was just checking, but tell me anyway.’
    Carmen sipped her vodka. ‘It’s all teeth and tongue and too much saliva.’ She gave a mock shudder. ‘Though in fairness Connor wasn’t such a bad kisser as Sean Maxwell.’ Sean was a stand-up comic whom she’d ended up kissing after one of his gigs.
    â€˜You kissed Sean Maxwell! Did you have a thing with him? God, Carmen, he’s slept with everyone!’ Will actually sounded quite heated.
    â€˜I did not have a thing with him! I snogged him one night just after I separated from my husband. A never-to-be-repeated mistake – I’ve had more sensual oral experiences at the hygienist. He was a sucker.’
    Will looked slightly more appeased. ‘So aren’t you going to tell me what a good kiss is?’
    Carmen put her head to one side and without thinking clearly came out with, ‘That’s easy, a good kiss makes you want to go straight to bed.’ What had made her say that? She blamed the hangover, blamed the appraisal, blamed Will sitting so close to her. Blamed the fact that she hadn’t had sex for nine months.
    She reached for her drink again to avoid looking at Will, but he wasn’t going to be put off now. ‘Perhaps you can show me later,’ he whispered in her ear, nearly causing Carmen to drop her drink.
    This was going beyond their usual flirtation and Carmen suspected she was supposed to come back with something equally smouldering but instead she squeaked out, ‘Hey, Lottie, when we are eating? I’m starving!’ Food was the last thing on her mind but she had to say something to break the spell.
    Lottie looked at her watch. ‘I’ve booked the table for eight. Drink up.’
    On the way to the restaurant Lottie once again organised everyone so they were walking ahead of Will and Carmen. Honestly! The woman was unstoppable in her mission, the matchmaking equivalent of a Panzer tank.
    â€˜So, is there anyone else I should know about who you’ve kissed?’ Will asked, going back to dangerous territory.
    â€˜I never kiss and tell,’ Carmen batted back. ‘Well, except about Connor and Sean. But no, Will, I haven’t seen anyone since I split up with my husband. I’m thinking of entering a nunnery so long as I can shop, drink wine, read
Grazia
and see my friends – oh, hang on, that
is
my life!’
    â€˜Was it an acrimonious split?’ Will stumbled over acrimonious – he was definitely on the wrong side of sober.
    â€˜Well, I wouldn’t exactly say it was amicable, though we get on okay now, so long as we don’t see each other.’ Carmen would rather talk about kissing Connor than her failed marriage. That was like opening the chamber of secrets and she really didn’t want to go there. There would