Read Alex for Free Online

 
    Finally he was able to pull out his phone and call his boss.   He barely had the strength in his hands to press the keys.  
    "Ian?"
    "Justin, I'm sorry, I overslept - last night I had my first counseling session with Alina and it didn't go well.   I'm on my way."
    He sighed.   "Okay."
    "I'm sorry."
    "Ian, this really can't keep happening."
    "I know.   I'm on my way."
    "We'll talk about it when you get here."
    Ian glanced into the rearview mirror.   He couldn't see the house.   "Okay."
    24
     
    He had expected some kind of reckoning: a final warning, if not a final dismissal.   Justin gave him neither, just the same tired bullshit.   On a different morning, Ian would've actually felt his opinion of the man drop.   Today, he didn't care.  
    "Ian, you look terrible."   Billi Swanson, kneeling at Sheila's desk to help her with some problem.   "Are you okay?"
    Ian nodded.
    "He looks like that every morning," Sheila scoffed, and glanced at the clock.   "Ten after nine.   New record for you, Colmes."
    It didn't even get a rise out of him.   Something is wrong with me.   I need to get checked out.   He thought about the counseling sessions.   Wondered if they would help him.
    "So, what do you think?" Sheila asked Billi.   "He obviously screwed something up pretty bad, but I'm not sure it's hardware.   Should I try to walk him through the system restore first?"
    "Yeah," Billi said.   She was an ample woman, out of shape: levering herself back to her feet was a production.   She blew out a breath.   "If that doesn't work, shoot it up to tier two."
    "Kay."
    Ian listened to his computer grind through its morning ritual.   The screen flickered once and presented him with an image of himself, Alina, Derek, and Alex last Halloween.   Brown eyes, brown eyes, brown eyes, blue.   He had the weird little thought every time the screen appeared.  
    "Hey," Billi said, resting a hand on his desk.   "Everything okay?"
    He glanced at her.   "Yeah.   Sorry."
    She scoffed, waved his apology away.   "I don't care when you come in.   That's Justin's problem."
    "I know."   He shrugged and lowered his voice.   "It's just hard not to feel like shit about it with..."   He nodded toward Sheila, who was working her best high-pitched I really care voice with her caller.
    "Screw her," Billi whispered back.   "She ain't gonna be perfect forever."
    Ian managed an amused snort.  
    "Really though.   How are you holding up?"
    He debated how much to say.   Billi was cool; probably the only person at Smartlink he even trusted.   "Not well," he admitted.   "Couldn't get to sleep last night.   Passed out on the couch.   I set my cell alarm but it must not have gone off."
    "I'm telling you, look at FMLA."
    He rubbed his head.   "Yeah."
    "Seriously.   If Kal can take six weeks for depression - and I'm pretty sure that was all bullshit - you can sure as hell take some time to get level.   You have a lot going on."
    He looked at her.   "For what, though?   I don't need medical leave.   I'm not sick."
    "That didn't stop Kal.   Talk to a doctor, tell them what's going on.   You know, the stuff you don't tell me."
    He double-clicked the little phone icon and positioned his headset.   "Really nothing to tell."   My son died.   I saw him buried, and now I see him in the window.
    "You're grieving."   Billi tapped her temple.   "It's mental. "
    25
     
    He had a microwave meal for supper, one of those salisbury steak deals.   He ate it in the living room, watching a Law & Order rerun.  
    He'd tried sitcoms, reality, the news, The Daily Show.   Only Law & Order and maybe the occasional infomercial really let him escape.   The show was weirdly comforting.   They didn't always catch the bad guy, but they usually did.   The cops on Law & Order would never let themselves get diverted from something important (a kidnapping) by a sudden high-profile case (a rich girl's kidnapping).   They had too much integrity.  
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