Read Beau Jest for Free Online

pictures.
    BOB. That reminds me of a story from when I was little.
    JOEL. Does it.
    BOB. When I was a small boy, there were a few gentile families in the neighborhood. And I always heard my little gentile friends talk about Santa Claus bringing them presents. And one Passover, I said to my father, “If Elijah comes, will he bring presents like Santa Claus?” And my father said, “If Elijah comes, he’ll bring the greatest present of all. Peace.” And I said, “But Santa Claus brings presents to my friends every year. When will Elijah come with his present?” And my father said, “We don’t know. But we hope he’ll come soon. That’s what we Jews do. We hope.”
    MIRIAM. ( Clutching her chest with emotion .) Oh!
    SARAH. That’s beautiful.
    ABE. That’s a beautiful story.
    MIRIAM. So beautiful. You know, I heard a story just like that on the radio today.
    BOB. ( Incredulous .) No!
    MIRIAM. David, will you do the Four Questions?
    BOB. Uh ... All right.
    SARAH. No! I’ll do it.
    BOB. I’ll do it, Sweetheart.
    MIRIAM. Do ιt together?
    SARAH. I’ll do it!
    BOB. No, that’s a good idea. We’ll both do it. ( To Sarah .) Sweetheart, do you want to do it in Hebrew or in English?
    SARAH. ( SHE catches on .) Oh! ( Calmly .) Why don’t I do the Hebrew, Sweetheart?
    BOB. All right. I’ll do the English.
    SARAH. All right.
    ABE. Do the Four Questions.
    MIRIAM. Do the Four Questions.
    SARAH. ( Reading .) “Ma nishtanah hallaylah...”
    MIRIAM. Sing it.
    SARAH. ( SHE glares at Miriam and then turns back to the book. SHE sings .) “Ma nishtanah hallaylah hazeh mikol halaylot ... Mikol halaylot.” ( SHE stops ) All right. That’s enough. ( To Bob ) Your turn.
    BOB. ( Reading .) “Why is this night different from all other nιghts?” ( To Sarah ) Need we ask. “For on all other nights we eat either leavened or unleavened bread; why on this night only unleavened bread? On all other nights we eat all kinds of herbs; why on this night only bitter herbs? On all other nights we need not dip our herbs even once; why on this night must we dip them twice? On all other nights we eat either sitting up or reclining; why on this night do we all recline?” Good questions.
    ABE. ( Turning the page .) “We were slaves.” ( Turnιng the page More emphatically .) “Then we were free.” ( More emphatically .) Let’s eat!
    MIRIAM. Abe, read a little bit.
    ABE. ( Readιng .) “We were Pharoah’s slaves in Egypt, and the Lord our God brought us forth from there with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm. And if the Holy One, blessed be he, had not brought our forefathers forth from Egypt, then we, our children, and our children’s children would still be Pharaoh’s slaves in Egypt.” ( Leafing ahead ) The four sons ... ( Leafing ahead .) “And he went down into Egypt ...” ( Leafing ahead .) “And the Egyptians considered us evil ...”
    JOEL. Where are you?
    ABE. Page ...twenty-nine.
    MIRIAM. Do the Ten Plagues.
    ABE. ( Leafing ahead .) The Ten Plagues. Page thirty. ( Reading ) “These make up the ten plagues which the Holy One, blessed be he, brought upon the Egyptians in Egypt, and they are these ...
     
    ( EVERYONE reads the Ten Plagues with Abe, responsively. As THEY read each plague, THEY dιp the handle of a spoon ın the wιne and touch it to the plate .)
     
    ABE. ( With each one repeated .) Dom ... Tsifardeah ... Keeneem ... Arov ...
     
    ( BOB realizes HE ιs using the bowl end of his spoon and ladling wine into thιs plate. HE flips the spoon over and continues .)
     
    ABE. Dever ... Shecheen ... Borod ... Arbeh ... Choshek ... Makas-Bikoros.
     
    ( EVERYONE licks theιr spoon handle BOB does lιkewise .)
     
    ABE. ( Leafing ahead .) Next ...
    MIRIAM. Sing a little “Dayenu.”
    ABE. “Dayenu.”
    MIRIAM. Everyone.
    EVERYONE. ( Sings .) Eloo Hotzi-Hotzianu Hotzianu Meemeetzraim, Hotzianu Meemeetzraim, Dayenu. Day-Dayenu. Day-Dayenu. Day-Dayenu. Dayenu. Dayenu. Dayenu. Day-Dayenu. Day-Dayenu. Day-Dayenu. Dayenu.