Read Dancer for Free Online

apartment and drove home. Back to a depressing existence.
    My heart a broken, gaping black hole of shit, I slumped in the corner of my dimly lit bedroom, surveying the four yellow walls littered with posters and a mess of dirty clothes scattered beneath my bed.
    Hm. Maybe this is why Mom and Dad said I can't take care of myself. I certainly suck at keeping a clean bedroom. Oh well. Doesn't mean I won't change once my baby's born, because I will.
    I will.
    Visions of Caleb's tirade swept to the surface, bringing forth devastation. How his endless cruelty cut to the core.
    I am not a whore. I am not stupid. I am not a bitch. I am not a slut. But you?
    You're a horrible person without a shred of kindness or empathy.
    You're the empty shell, Caleb. You're the one with a blackened heart filled with utter shit.
    Yes. That's you.
    Tears would not betray my emotions. Nevertheless I wanted to fucking die. Just.
    Fucking.
    Die.
    I couldn't take much more.
    But I also couldn't die.
    Life must go on. I had to pretend everything was fine even though I barely got through each day.
    This too shall pass .
    Please god, let it pass.
    * * * *
    M onday.
    I worked another grueling shift at Sizzle; this boring, thankless job that helped make my car payments and nothing else.
    Since I carried a small bowling ball in my belly, my spine ached after hours of serving. But I pushed on, rushing back and forth carrying trays filled with dishes. Fetching drinks, answering phones and so forth, listening to customers bitch about getting the wrong food, cold food or bad food.
    Christ .
    I wasn't as patient with the customers, which earned me less tips. I simply couldn't win.
    I went to the kitchen to fulfill my gazillionth order and grabbed a plate of chocolate pie.
    Doug, my boss, interrupted me as I headed through the doors to the dining room.
    "Samantha, I need to talk to you."
    Reluctantly I turned. "Yeah? About what?"
    "Things haven't been the same with you for a while," he said without meeting my gaze. "You've been late coming in, calling in sick, hiding out in the restrooms instead of doing your work. I don't want to do this, but I have to let you go."
    His statement sickened me. "No, I need this job. I have a baby coming."
    "I'm sorry but it's been a long time coming, Samantha. All I can say is—good luck." Doug regarded me with pity. He tucked in the corner of his mouth and bowed his head.
    Good luck. Good luck? Far from being good, I'd been having the worst luck of my entire life.
    Tossing my apron to the floor, I slammed the dish on a counter, stormed through the dining area and outside where I paced, fists clenched, body tight as a stretched wire.
    I eyed the free-standing sale sign, the perfect target for my fury.
    The sign, bulky and heavy-looking, reached my chin and read: Center-cut sirloin steak: 6.99 for a limited time only. I kicked the shit out of it, alternating between punching and punting. Inch-by-inch the damn thing scooted backward until it toppled and crashed into the sidewalk.
    I trampled and smashed it. "Mother fucking bullshit. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Fuck this fuckin' shit. Sick of it. So goddamn sick of my life. Motherfucker fired me for being pregnant. "
    Kick, kick. Slam, slam . Plastic bits exploded every which way. One of my spiked heels snapped so I removed my shoes.
    And my fury was sated. I felt like my normal self, not that I actually remembered what it was like.
    A semblance of normalcy was better than nothing.
    Even if it were only an illusion.
    * * * *
    A llison called.
    Dad snapped the newspaper, probably annoyed that I was talking to the 'worthless pot head'.
    "I lost my damn job today." I strolled in the kitchen with the mobile phone glued to my ear, speaking low to ensure Dad couldn't overhear.
    "Aw. Sam, I'm sorry. But listen—I found out something that might cheer you up," Allison divulged. Somehow I could tell she was smiling. "I found out the name of your dancer dude and some other stuff."
    Astonished, I pressed