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snuggling her into my shoulder.
    After a few seconds, my mom took her. “You don’t want her to spit up on you.” Then she eyed my outfit again. “Or maybe you do.”
    I shrugged. “It doesn’t matter what I wear. Austin and I are going to talk. Well, he better do some serious talking. I’m going to listen… at least until I get so pissed I start yelling.”
    Mom chuckled. “If that’s how the night is going to go you’re in the perfect outfit.” She turned Emma in her arms and held her so their faces were close. “What do you think, Emmy Whemmy?”
    “Emmy Whemmy is on my side and yes, that’s probably pretty close to how the it’ll happen.” I walked into the kitchen, and opened the refrigerator. “Is chicken okay for dinner?”
    “What kind of chicken?” she asked in a baby voice.
    “Sautéed with mushrooms and onions with a salad and baked potato?”
    “ Mmmmm, that sounds goo-ooood, don’t you think so, baby-girl?” I turned just in time to catch Emma smiling big at my mom.
    “Did you need me to cut the onion or the mushrooms?” she asked.
    “No, you holding Emma is a huge help.”
     

     
    I tried to eat when dinner was ready, but my stomach was in knots and I finally gave up.
    Mom tidied up the kitchen after dinner and I held Emma. My sisters came over and we had more secret eggnog, sang a few carols, and exchanged presents.
    Liv got me a red cashmere scarf. “I’m wearing it tonight. It’ll bring me luck,” I said, wrapping it around my neck. It was soft.
    Heather opened the present I got her and squealed. It was a sterling silver dolphin with diamonds encrusted on the fin. I’d saved all year to get it because of how much Heather loved dolphins.
    “You’re too much. This is gorgeous.” Tears made her eyes shiny. I hugged her. We all pitched in and got mom a cruise, and she was super excited about that.
    Heather gave Sara a spa day and a promise to take care of her kids so she could go and enjoy herself.
    My sisters and mom spoiled Emma with clothes, toys, and shoes. All Emma cared about was the paper, the noise it made when the wrapping paper ripped.
    The evening was amazing. My sisters went home around nine-thirty and I put Emma to bed. When I came out, my mom had the TV on and was watching Doctor Zhivago. I hated that show. It was long and the end wasn’t satisfying. Mom called it realistic. I sat down next to her. “Why do you put yourself through this? You know how it ends. She picks the wrong guy.”
    Mom patted my knee. “Maybe she picked the wrong guy for you, but she ended up with the guy she needed.”
    I snorted. “You’re so practical.”
    “True.” She turned and faced me. “How are you feeling? Need to talk?”
    “Yes, if it’s about anything other than what I’m going to be doing in two hours.”
    “Fine.” Mom turned back to the TV. “Let’s see how it ends.”
    I crossed my arms and snuggled next to her. We both knew how it ended. It was strange though, because as the final scenes played out I still had hope she’d choose the man I thought she should end up with.
    Of course, she didn’t.
    As the credits rolled, mom stood. “You’d better go.”
    I felt like I might puke. My body started trembling again. Mom seemed to sense it. “Be strong. He came looking for you. Let him share his reasons, listen, and then follow your heart.” She kissed me on the cheek. “When you get home, scoot me over. Night.” She picked up the baby monitor and walked down the hall. When she reached my bedroom, she turned back. “Merry Christmas, Willow. I love you.”
    “Love you too,” I responded.
    She blew me a kiss, went into my bedroom, and closed the door.

 
     
     

     
     
     
    I walked to the end of the lane where wooden stairs led down to the beach. The tide was out, which meant the caves would be damp but dry. As I descended, I tried not to think of the time Austin and I had spent walking along this beach, holding hands, talking, and kissing in the