his lips and looks sheepish for a moment, scratching below his chin. “Yeah, I mean, being…intimidated by the water, and all. It’s been smooth sailing so far, don’t you think?”
“Smooth?” I laugh, my eyebrows shooting up. “If this is smooth, I’m afraid of what awaits me the next 11 days.”
“Nah, this is nothing. We’ve had much worse, believe me.”
A lump forms in my throat like a stone. I force it down. “I’ll take your word for it.”
“I was afraid of the ocean once, you know.” He looks away, down at the deck, and crosses his arms over his chest. “I’ve found the key to conquering that fear is to own it.”
“You, afraid of the ocean? How is that possible?” A surprised laugh flutters from my lips and I gesture around us. “This is all yours.”
“No,” he shakes his head with determination, “ this is all mine.” He presses a finger to his temple and points to his head. “Fear is all a battle of the mind. I choose to own mine. You can, too.”
“If it were that simple, there would be no such thing as anxiety medication. No such thing as therapy. Not everyone has that power.”
“That’s true,” he shrugs, lifting his gaze back to me, “and those are useful, legitimate tools in times of need. But in the end, we are always alone with our mind, whether we have help or not. We can’t escape its damage, we can only learn to manage it.” His expression turns pensive, the deep swirls of his indigo irises flashing somewhere distant, once again out toward the ocean, as if it’s calling to him. I want to call him back from wherever he is, want to ask him why he was once afraid of the ocean, but instead I remain silent, waiting.
He stares out at the sea a moment more before breaking the trance that captured him, settling his earnest gaze on me once again. “So, Miss Banks, what are your plans tomorrow?”
“Anya.”
“Anya,” he chuckles lightly and a ghost of a smile returns, dispelling the heavy solemnness from moments ago.
“I’m not sure yet. I think I’m sleeping in, and then who knows. No doubt Lana has my agenda all laid out for me. She’s a planner. It drives me mad.”
“Well, we arrive in Nassau at 9 a.m. I hope you ladies take advantage of the sights.”
“I’m sure we will.”
“In the afternoon, if you can spare the time, I’d love it if you’d swing by my office. Perhaps for an interview, of sorts? For your magazine feature.”
“Oh, I’d love to, but…I really should leave that up to Lana, since it’s her feature. I’m here to help with supplemental research and to chat with some of the guests.”
Tanner’s chin lifts slightly and he straightens his shoulders, taking a step forward. He casually clasps his hands in front of him, adjusting his stance in front of me. Each ridge of his abdomen ripples with the movement.
I swallow.
“What could be better than chatting with the owner of the cruise line?”
“Well, I don’t know, I guess—”
“You should come by. My office is on Deck 10, Forward. Just let Heidi know I’m expecting you. She’s my receptionist.”
“I’ll speak to Lana about it. Thanks for the offer.”
He purses his lips, and I can see the cogs in his mind turn, but he doesn’t comment. Finally, he settles on formality. “It’s my pleasure, Miss Banks. I look forward to seeing you.” He begins to jog off, pivoting on a hip to call out to me over his shoulder. “Please be careful out here. If you need anything, don’t hesitate to let me or the staff know.”
“Thanks,” I reply with a light wave. He nods and returns his focus forward, sticking his earbuds back in his ears. He runs off into the night, down the deck, until he disappears around the corner, and I’m left alone with the wind and the crashing of the ocean waves as they beat the side of the ship.
THREE
The next morning is a blur. I’m harassed with pillows being chucked at my head until Lana successfully lures me out of bed,
“Smooth?” I laugh, my eyebrows shooting up. “If this is smooth, I’m afraid of what awaits me the next 11 days.”
“Nah, this is nothing. We’ve had much worse, believe me.”
A lump forms in my throat like a stone. I force it down. “I’ll take your word for it.”
“I was afraid of the ocean once, you know.” He looks away, down at the deck, and crosses his arms over his chest. “I’ve found the key to conquering that fear is to own it.”
“You, afraid of the ocean? How is that possible?” A surprised laugh flutters from my lips and I gesture around us. “This is all yours.”
“No,” he shakes his head with determination, “ this is all mine.” He presses a finger to his temple and points to his head. “Fear is all a battle of the mind. I choose to own mine. You can, too.”
“If it were that simple, there would be no such thing as anxiety medication. No such thing as therapy. Not everyone has that power.”
“That’s true,” he shrugs, lifting his gaze back to me, “and those are useful, legitimate tools in times of need. But in the end, we are always alone with our mind, whether we have help or not. We can’t escape its damage, we can only learn to manage it.” His expression turns pensive, the deep swirls of his indigo irises flashing somewhere distant, once again out toward the ocean, as if it’s calling to him. I want to call him back from wherever he is, want to ask him why he was once afraid of the ocean, but instead I remain silent, waiting.
He stares out at the sea a moment more before breaking the trance that captured him, settling his earnest gaze on me once again. “So, Miss Banks, what are your plans tomorrow?”
“Anya.”
“Anya,” he chuckles lightly and a ghost of a smile returns, dispelling the heavy solemnness from moments ago.
“I’m not sure yet. I think I’m sleeping in, and then who knows. No doubt Lana has my agenda all laid out for me. She’s a planner. It drives me mad.”
“Well, we arrive in Nassau at 9 a.m. I hope you ladies take advantage of the sights.”
“I’m sure we will.”
“In the afternoon, if you can spare the time, I’d love it if you’d swing by my office. Perhaps for an interview, of sorts? For your magazine feature.”
“Oh, I’d love to, but…I really should leave that up to Lana, since it’s her feature. I’m here to help with supplemental research and to chat with some of the guests.”
Tanner’s chin lifts slightly and he straightens his shoulders, taking a step forward. He casually clasps his hands in front of him, adjusting his stance in front of me. Each ridge of his abdomen ripples with the movement.
I swallow.
“What could be better than chatting with the owner of the cruise line?”
“Well, I don’t know, I guess—”
“You should come by. My office is on Deck 10, Forward. Just let Heidi know I’m expecting you. She’s my receptionist.”
“I’ll speak to Lana about it. Thanks for the offer.”
He purses his lips, and I can see the cogs in his mind turn, but he doesn’t comment. Finally, he settles on formality. “It’s my pleasure, Miss Banks. I look forward to seeing you.” He begins to jog off, pivoting on a hip to call out to me over his shoulder. “Please be careful out here. If you need anything, don’t hesitate to let me or the staff know.”
“Thanks,” I reply with a light wave. He nods and returns his focus forward, sticking his earbuds back in his ears. He runs off into the night, down the deck, until he disappears around the corner, and I’m left alone with the wind and the crashing of the ocean waves as they beat the side of the ship.
THREE
The next morning is a blur. I’m harassed with pillows being chucked at my head until Lana successfully lures me out of bed,
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