Read Hold the Pickles for Free Online

me: a) that would hurt, and b) there was no way my bag would survive the flight. It was too full of holes. It was bound to burst apart and send me and my tighty-whities flying across the room.
    The janitor might also get suspicious of a garbage bag that weighed ninety-seven pounds. That was the first and only time in my life I wished I weighed less.
    I had to do something fast. The janitor was getting closer. That happy song was starting to sound like the soundtrack to a horror movie.
    I did the only thing I could think of. I climbed out of the garbage bag and hid behind a trash can.
    I realized pretty fast that wouldn’t work either. The janitor would pick up the half-empty bag of paper towel, and then he’d pick up the trash can and empty it.
    So much for my hiding place.
    So much for my life.

Chapter Thirteen
    I had pretty much accepted that I was going to die of embarrassment at the ripe old age of fifteen when—just like that—my salvation appeared right in front of me.
    Cupcake Katie.
    He was striding past my hiding place, chatting away with a large burrito all gussied up in a sombrero and extra cheese. I’d like to say it was my lightning-fast mind that found the solution to my problem, but it wasn’t. It was more like mascot’s intuition or something. I just stood up straight and slipped in between the two of them. I knew they’d never be able to see me through their little pretend eyes. Their foam bodies were big enough that I was pretty much hidden from everyone too.
    Even better, they just happened to be heading to the men’s room. Miracle of miracles. I got all the way there with them unnoticed, then slipped into my old cubicle before they had a chance to get out of their costumes. I crouched on the toilet seat so they couldn’t see my bare legs. If Shane had been able to recognize me by my ankles, why couldn’t the cupcake?
    I knew I was still in a bad situation, but this kind of took the edge off it. There was something just so great about being able to use Cupcake Katie to make my getaway. I was feeling pretty smug—at least until they started to talk.
    â€œYou hear the news?” I figured that had to be the burrito, because I didn’t recognize the voice.
    â€œNo. What?”
    â€œPickpockets.”
    â€œYou’re kidding.” Cupcake Katie didn’t sound that impressed. “Does my icing look like it’s on straight to you?”
    The burrito raised his voice over the sound of running water. “Push it a little to the left…Yeah. There. You got it.”
    â€œHave they caught anyone?”
    â€œNot yet. But I’ve got a pretty good idea who’s doing it.”
    â€œOh, yeah. Who?”
    â€œThat lame hotdog.”
    My ears perked up. No, I thought. They couldn’t possibly be talking about me .
    The burrito went on, “You know. The one that tried to horn in on your territory? Frank Lee Awful or Frank Lee Inedible or something like that.”
    They had a laugh over that. I, on the other hand, almost had a heart attack.
    Cupcake Katie said, “No way. He wouldn’t pickpocket anyone.” I was flattered that he came to my defense. “He’s too much of a klutz! Didn’t you see? I barely touched him, and he went down like a rock.”
    I heard a strip of paper towel being ripped off.
    â€œNo, no. You don’t understand.” It was the burrito again. “He doesn’t actually do the pickpocketing. He’s the decoy.”
    â€œWhat do you mean?”
    â€œHe lures the people over with the samples, then his ‘associates’ pick their pockets.”
    The cupcake snorted. “He’d get a lot more victims if he had samples you could actually eat.”
    Good point. I hoped that would put an end to this ridiculous discussion.
    â€œYeah—but that’s what’s so great about his plan. The guy’s a lot smarter than he looks. His samples are so revolting