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its effects apparent. Like the neutrino, hurtling from the sun to pass undetected through our bodies and on through the Earth, observable only through the effects of its impact on other particles in cathedral-sized detectors. The soul is there in the geometry of the fractal-like golden matter of the universe; known but not always acknowledged.
    Ever since, I’ve been a starer at sunsets and sunrises; wistful for that moment of knowing.

    Sunset on the beach with Nutrina and Sienna

Chapter Three
Theatre
In the Beginning
    My first two appearances on stage could have put me off acting for life and, ever since, I’ve probably just being trying to make up for them.
    Out of all the children in school I was specially selected to present our Reverend Mother with a posy of flowers at a farewell ceremony before she left for a sabbatical in France. During the ceremony I had to climb the stairs to the stage with the posy, make my way to where she was sitting and, having presented the flowers to her with a little curtsey, bid her bon voyage . How hard could that be?
    Well, quite hard when you’re only four years old, actually. Trying to retain two words of French when you’re that small is like having to learn the entire canon of Shakespeare, and it really didn’t help that said posy was not a posy at all but a bunch of gladioli that matched me in height. I got rather fussed about the whole thing. It wasn’t helped by the fact that Didi and all her ‘big girl’ friends werewatching me and smirking. Under the weight of all the flowers I tripped on the stairs and, by the time I reached Reverend Mother’s chair, I’d forgotten my line. I promptly burst into tears in front of the whole school and hid in her voluminous black skirts. Let’s just say it wasn’t one of my finest moments on stage.
    The next ghastliness was playing Chanticleer the cock, a minor role in the nativity play. My mother had sewn a jagged bit of red felt onto a balaclava to represent wattles. The felt flopped over and the hat was so big I couldn’t see properly. Maybe that’s the reason I’ve been so fussy about my costumes ever since. There were no floppy wattles for Sable.
    I think I was 12 when I conned my way into the National Youth Theatre. My friend Roz and I went for an interview in one of the big white houses in Eccleston Square, near Victoria Station in London. It was number 22. I can’t remember exactly how old I was, but I remember the address. Funny, the things we remember. We said we were 15 and I got in, Roz didn’t. She said her favourite actor was Alfred Findley; I managed to remember his name was Albert Finney. They said I was too late to audition for an acting job so would I like to do admin or elecs? Since I hadn’t a clue what either of those was, I plumped for elecs and hoped for the best. I got a job helping work the electrics board at the Scala Theatre for the summer. Left in charge for five minutes, I managed to fuse the board and cause a blackout in the middle of a scene from Richard III when a blackout wasn’t needed. Neil Stacey was playing Richard and I had a crush on him. He was very kind about the blackout; it was the only time he spoke to me.
    That wonderful actor Kenneth Cranham was friendlier and used to share his sandwiches with me. Years later, in 1979, we’ddo The London Cuckolds together at The Royal Court Theatre. We were also at RADA at the same time – he was in the year above me. We had supper together a few months ago when we happened to be in the same city. It’s good to know people for over 50 years.
    I only performed in one school play: Sophocles’ Electra . Miss Iliff was in charge of Drama. Her brother Noel taught me radio technique at RADA. They probably came from a theatre background. I was offered the part of Chrysothemis but I didn’t want to do that. ‘What’s the name of the play?’ I asked. ‘ Electra ?