More than Just Sex

Read More than Just Sex for Free Online

Book: Read More than Just Sex for Free Online
Authors: Ali Campbell
Tags: dating
fact, lots of the time we go out of our way to cover up the real us because we don’t think that’s what we ‘should’ be ‘doing’, ‘saying’ or ‘looking like’. But remember, all those guys doing what they ‘should’ be doing are the ones hawking themselves in the bars and clubs, looking for someone impressionable enough to have a superficial and temporary relationship with them.
    The problem with most of us guys is that we try very hard to portray what we think we ‘should’ be. It doesn’tmatter whose fault that is; whether it’s the media or social conditioning or whatever. As we have said before, we spend lots of time polishing and posturing with the trappings or symbols instead of the bit that really matters; the bit that makes you unique, and very attractive to others, lots of others.
    You are looking for something more, and so is she. When she finds it in you, she’ll be more than happy and perhaps more than a little surprised, too.
    Now, how cool would it be if she could immediately see those natural qualities in you and what if they are things that she really values, too? That would be a match made in heaven, and it’s exactly where I am going to guide you now.
    But first I’d like you to prepare yourself and get ready to go out and do your focus-group exercise.
    Listen, it’ll only take 20 minutes to get enough feedback to change your life forever. By the end of lunchtime you can have enough real insights from real women to know exactly where the disconnect lies.
    Remember to ask girls who, although you are not chatting them up with any intent, are nevertheless ones that attract you. After all, you need feedback from your correct target market. No point asking cats what they think about dog food, is there? But make sure you dress the way you usually would when you are in a target-rich environment. If you would typically wear a shirt and jeans to go out, then wear those. If you usually wear a suit, then do that, but for f*ck’s sake do not dress up like a market researcher.
    You are playing the part of researcher AND product, and a Day-Glo bib is not likely to impress anyone. Just be the way you usually are – that’s what you want feedback on anyway. I actually know someone who did this and got a date from his first time out, but that is not the intention. The intention (for now) is just to fact-find; the rest will come later, once the other bits are all lined up.
    But here’s a little thought to play with, just for you and to draw an even greater contrast. When you do approach these women, what do you hope they will say? What would you love for them to see in you? Go back now and think about those core values again.
    If that’s not what comes out – and I very much doubt that it will be – then that is great news for us! It shows us exactly where one of the problems is, and tells us what we need to work on first.
    A FEW QUICK TIPS BEFORE YOU GO
    The first thing we have to do is build what’s called ‘response potential’. To do that, you need to start with some really easy openers and get her used to responding to you. We’re going to use the same principle of building response potential when you are in action for real too, and it doesn’t really matter what the first three questions are, so long as they are easy to answer and not invasive. You could introduce yourself as a researcher doing a study on perceptions, and then open with:
     
What was the last song you heard on the radio?
Who was the last celebrity you read about?
Would you prefer one designer piece or lots of high-street clothes?
    All very easy to answer and will get her used to responding to you. Then move on to asking questions about her perceptions of you, with a selection of:
     
What do you think I do for a living?
What do you think I like to do on a Friday night?
Do I play sport?
Do I read?
How much do I earn?
What kind of car do I drive?
Am I boyfriend material?
What three words best describe your first

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