Read Mr. Monk on the Couch for Free Online

me. I still kept thinking about Jack Griffin, apparently an expat American in Mexico who traveled to San Francisco to die alone in a dive motel. And I couldn’t help wondering why he did. His reasons weren’t any of my business, and it wouldn’t change anything if I knew them, but that’s the thing about mysteries, isn’t it? They just keep nagging at you.
    Or maybe it wasn’t the mystery. Maybe the problem was that I had nothing else to think about. With Julie off at school and no man in my life, I didn’t have much to do outside of work.
    I needed a hobby.
    But I wasn’t going to begin looking for one that night. So I ordered a pizza from Domino’s and an on-demand movie to watch on TV.
    The movie was one of those inane, big-budget comic-book adaptations where good-looking people in colorful costumes try to work out their superficial superangst by throwing cars at each other and making as much noise as possible.
    All that mayhem didn’t get their superminds off their superproblems, and it didn’t work for me, either.

    On Monday morning, I dragged Monk down to the police station on the pretext of getting the latest news on the paperboy case.
    Monk didn’t ask me why I didn’t simply call the captain for an update instead. That’s probably because Monk appreciated any excuse to visit the police station and he didn’t want to question his good fortune.
    This was the first time we’d been to headquarters since Lieutenant Devlin had replaced Randy Disher, and as we came in, it was strange for me to see her occupying the desk outside of Stottlemeyer’s office. I imagine people felt the same way the first time they saw me with Monk after I replaced Sharona Fleming as his assistant.
    Monk gasped when he saw the desk, probably more because of the stacks of bulging files and junk-food containers that were piled on top of it than because of the person who was sitting behind it.
    Devlin was facing her flat screen, pounding on the keys as if she were trying to beat a report out of the computer rather than write it.
    He took a deep breath and approached her desk. “Good morning, Lieutenant Devlin.”
    Her shoulders sagged with weariness and she slowly turned around in her seat to face us.
    “What are you doing here, Monk?”
    “We came to bring you this.” Monk reached into the pocket of his coat and handed her a gift-wrapped box tied with a perfectly symmetrical ribbon. “It’s a present to welcome you to the team.”
    “We aren’t a team,” she said. “You can keep it.”
    “It would mean a lot to me if you’d accept it,” Monk said. “It’s a two-part gift.”
    “What’s a two-part gift?” she asked warily.
    “The first part is you open the box,” Monk said. “The second part is I clean your desk.”
    “You touch this desk,” she said, “and I will break your arms.”
    Devlin unwrapped the box and opened it, revealing the toothbrush, toothpaste, and dental floss that were inside. She looked up at him, her expression stony.
    “You got me a toothbrush?” she said.
    “Not just any toothbrush,” he said proudly. “It’s the Gertler 4000 with the extrasoft polyurethane bristles and the blue rubber handle. It’s handmade, the very best there is.”
    “Are you trying to tell me I have bad breath?”
    “No,” Monk said. “I’m telling you that you have hideously swollen gums.”
    “I have a two-part gift for you,” she said.
    “You’re going to let me clean your desk and empty your trash?”
    She stood up and shoved the box back into Monk’s pocket. “If you leave right now, I won’t knock you on your ass and stomp on your testicles.”
    Monk shuddered and took a deep breath. “Okay, but after the beating could I clean your desk and empty your trash?”
    “Mr. Monk!” I said. “Don’t you have any self-respect?”
    “None at all,” he said. “I thought that was common knowledge.”
    “She insulted you,” I said. “You should be outraged.”
    “ He should be?” Devlin