Read Never Without Hope (Sacred Vows Book 1) for Free Online

did it. With him.” My heart raced, but I’d told someone the truth. It was a start.
    “ Oh my word. Did I hear you right?”
    “ Yeah.” I nodded, tears streaming down.
    “ Whoa.” Silence lingered for what seemed like minutes.
    “ I…I need to talk.” Wiping my nose with a tissue, I eased onto a chair.
    “ I’m listening.” Worry evident in her voice, I knew she cared, and she wouldn’t judge me over my foolishness.
    “ I met him this afternoon…on the end of a dirt road. We got in his truck…”
    “ Hold on a minute. You got in his truck? To do what? Drive somewhere?”
    “ To…you know…” Holding my breath, I waited for a response.
    “ Holy cow, in his truck?” Astonishment in her voice told me she found it about as unbelievable as I had.
    It did sound outrageous, and cheesy. I felt like a sleazy teenager describing it now. But I ’d tell her the truth. I needed to let it out of me.
    “ Yeah, he had a cab on his truck and blankets in back and everything.”
    “ He planned it?”
    Her shocked tone made me wince. I was so na ïve. “Yeah, he said he’d hoped for it. I guess I gave in a little too easy, huh?”
    “ Well, given all you’ve told me about your lack of sex at home, it’s not totally unbelievable. So what are you going to do?”
    “ I’m going to tell my husband. Tonight.” Closing my eyes, I wished it to be true. Please, God, help me to do this. Even though I’m not sure You’re listening to my cry for help, I need You.
    “ You’re braver than I’d be right now. I can’t believe you actually did it.” The compassion in her tone was evident regardless of her comment. I knew she loved me still.
    “ Pray for me? Please?” I pleaded.
    “ Of course. What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t pray for you?”
    “ Thank you.” Closing my eyes, I felt relief surge through me. Someone would pray.
    “ Hope, I’m just curious. What was it like? I mean was it better than with your husband? The sex?”
    My mind returned to that steamy encounter in his truck. No, my husband was better, but only because I loved him. Sure, Tony could perform, and my body loved every minute of it. But the emotional piece was missing.
    “In some ways yes, in others no.”
    “ What do you mean?”
    “ I love my husband, even though he can’t seem to make love to me. I don’t love Tony. I don’t know what I feel for him. Just attraction. And my body loved the attention. It was fabulous. He performed like he had tons of experience. Man, that’s the worst part. I told him when we were done that I had hoped if he kissed me, it would’ve felt like I was kissing my brother. But it didn’t.”
    “ What did he say?” Jenna was truly curious. I could tell by her voice.
    “ He laughed and said that was great. I told him it was terrible. He looked worried that I meant his performance.” I chuckled. “But I reassured him that part was wonderful. I told him that it was terrible because I enjoyed it so much. I’m terrible…” I sobbed.
    “ You are not terrible. What you did was wrong, but you were hurting. Don’t beat yourself up over it. Just confess it and move on.”
    “ I don’t see how that’s possible. I can’t undo any of it. In fact, I’m not so sure given the lack of sex in my marriage that I wouldn’t do it again. I need this right now, and my own husband won’t give me what I need. I haven’t felt him inside me in so long. And I don’t want to take care of myself. So no matter what I do, it feels wrong. All of it.”
    “ I feel bad for you, Hope. I do.” Jenna’s voice sounded tight.
    “ That’s okay. Just keep praying. I’ll tell him tonight. Right now I’m going to take a nap.” Ruffling my bangs with my fingers, I sighed.
    “ Talk to you later, then. Love you, girl.” Jenna hung up.
    Putting the phone back in the holder, I stared for several minutes. A nap would be good. That way I could forget for awhile. Then maybe when I woke up, my husband would be home