Read No One in the World for Free Online

the past fourteen days, I had already drawn lines through half a dozen Eric Reeds confirming that none of them was my brother, but there were still at least another dozen to call in this city alone. I didn’t want to think of how many there were left in the rest of the country.
    Pressing a finger to the next phone listing, I picked up my office phone and dialed the number. I got a recording informing me that the number was no longer in service. I drew a line through that name and dialed the next number.
    â€œHello,” I said, after a woman picked up the phone. “May I speak with Eric Reed, please,” I said, hoping his name hadn’t been changed as mine had been.
    â€œWho’s calling?”
    â€œMy name is”—I stopped myself. “My name is Everette Reed,” I said, using my pre-adoption name.
    â€œMay I ask why you’re calling, Mr. Reed?”
    I swallowed hard. “I have a brother named Eric, but I haven’t seen him in thirty years. I’m trying to find him, and—”
    â€œMy husband doesn’t have a brother.”
    â€œThere’s a chance he wouldn’t have known about me. Can I please speak to him?”
    â€œI’m sorry, Mr. Reed, but Eric has been dead a year now. Car accident,” the woman said, her voice low.
    â€œI’m so sorry,” I said. “I really don’t mean to bother you, but can I please ask you a few more questions? Just so I’ll know.”
    â€œYes.”
    â€œEric was my twin. I’ll be turning thirty-four in three weeks.”
    â€œMy Eric was forty,” the woman said.
    â€œOh,” I said, feeling as though my brother would be lost forever.
    â€œI hope you find him, Mr. Reed. Good-bye.”
    After work, I was exhausted. I went home, took a nap on my living room sofa, and awakened half an hour later to the ringing of my home phone.
    I had been dreaming about my childhood again, something that seemed to happen now each and every time I closed my eyes.
    In the dream, I was sixteen. It was not long after my father had found me and the boy, Steve, in the garage. Since that day, it seemed my father had very little to say to me. He gave me instructions when he needed to, like “Make sure you’re packed for tomorrow’s trip,” but simple, everyday conversation between a father and son was no longer there.
    Because all I wanted was the love of my father, I did what he told me to do. I had stopped seeing Steve and did the same with all the other boys I called friends at school. I had little interest in girls, and besides my sister, I was basically alone.
    I could not be who I really was, and despite how much I tried to bewhat my father wanted, he would never accept me as that person either. I was damned either way.
    The dream shifted to a memory of me pushing through my parents’ door, and gently shaking my mother till she awakened.
    â€œBaby, what’s wrong?” she asked.
    I stood there in the dark room, tears rolling down my cheeks. “I . . . I . . .” I wasn’t able to speak.
    My mother hurried out of bed, wrapped her arms around me. My father didn’t wake, didn’t budge. She walked me down the hallway to my bedroom. Sympathy in her eyes, she begged, “Tell me what’s wrong. Please.”
    â€œI don’t . . . I don’t know if I can do it anymore,” I said, sniffing. “Nobody understands. Nobody cares.”
    â€œDon’t know if you can do what, Cobi? Nobody understands what?”
    â€œMe, Ma. Me! And I don’t know if I can live.”
    My mother leaned away from me as if wondering who this strange boy was. Then she noticed what I had in my fist. Her eyes focused on the orange plastic bottle with the childproof cap. She snatched it from my grasp. “Cobi, what are you doing with these?”
    They were her sleeping pills.
    I didn’t answer, just kept crying. She scanned my room and saw the tall glass,