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hav e . . . I just though t . . . ”
    “ Y ou just thought of yourself,” she said, knowing that he r word s wer e cuttin g hi m i n tw o bu t sh e couldn ’ t help it . “ Y o u though t o f yoursel f an d you r ow n desire s bu t you didn ’ t eve n discus s thi s wit h me . I fee l a s i f yo u were sneakin g behin d m y back . I fee l lik e you’v e betraye d me, Rob. ”
    Hi s gorgeou s fac e crumple d no w an d h e couldn ’ t even loo k he r i n th e eye . Sh e kne w h e wante d a bab y . Sh e knew tha t fro m da y on e bu t h e kne w tha t i t woul d hav e t o happen whe n the y wer e bot h read y an d tha t wa s someth in g th at the y jus t couldn ’ t agre e on .
    “Let ’ s jus t forge t abou t i t an d hav e dinne r , ” h e said, movin g toward s th e cooke r wher e everythin g wa s keeping war m a t th e perfec t temperature . “Please. ”
    T es s too k a drin k o f he r win e an d the n anothe r and the n anothe r unti l th e glas s wa s drained . The n she ru mm a ge d i n he r handba g fo r th e pac k o f Sil k Cu t that sh e kep t fo r emergencie s an d move d t o th e pati o doors wher e sh e li t u p a cigarette , inhale d deepl y an d watched a s th e smok e fille d th e evenin g sk y .
    “Ar e yo u oka y , T ess? ” Ro b calle d fro m th e kitchen .
    Sh e trie d t o remin d hersel f o f ho w wonderfu l he r life wa s i n ever y wa y . Sh e ha d a rewarding , i f somewhat frustrating , jo b teachin g a subjec t sh e adore d eve n i f the adorabl e littl e monster s sh e taugh t sometime s didn ’ t ; she ha d he r healt h (despit e th e smokin g – sh e kne w sh e really shoul d quit ) an d he r wonderfu l i f sometime s highly annoying family lived near enough to visit but far enough awa y t o avoid ; an d mos t importantl y sh e ha d a husband wh o love d he r mor e tha n lif e itsel f an d wh o totall y rocked he r worl d ever y tim e h e sai d he r nam e o r looke d int o her eyes .
    Bu t despit e hour s o f debat e durin g th e ninetee n months t ha t they’ d bee n married , on e thin g jus t wouldn ’ t g o awa y . He wante d a bab y . Sh e wante d a bab y too , sh e suppose d . . . bu t jus t no t yet .
    An d no w h e wa s monitorin g he r cycle , thoug h ho w her bein g o n th e pil l wa s factore d int o hi s schem e sh e didn ’ t kno w . W a s h e tryin g t o tric k he r int o forgettin g he r pil l or agreein g i n th e hea t o f th e passio n t o sto p takin g it ?
    Tha t hurt . Tha t hur t a lot .
     
     
     
     

4
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
    Gin a Humphrie s looke d ou t th e windo w ont o Ardglass V illa s t o chec k agai n fo r he r husband ’ s arrival . Lights wer e o n i n ever y hous e i n th e developmen t wher e families gathere d fo r suppe r o r evening s i n fron t o f th e tell y , but Gina ’ s hous e wa s silen t an d empt y . Dann y wa s i n be d and ther e wa s stil l n o sig n o f T revo r .
    Gin a love d anniversaries . Sh e love d card s an d trinkets an d littl e noveltie s lik e hand-mad e phot o frame s or scrapbook s an d memor y boxe s an d quilt s an d home- knitte d scarve s an d bakin g brea d an d meetin g he r son comin g hom e fro m schoo l wit h ros y cheek s an d th e smell o f fres h ai r o n hi s coat .
    Sh e wa s no t a ba d person . He r friend s sai d sh e was kin d an d gentl e an d carin g an d that , wit h a littl e bi t of car e an d attention , sh e migh t eve n b e . . . prett y .
    S o wh y di d h e mak e he r fee l lik e sh e wa s worthless, ever y hou r o f ever y da y , eve n tha t da y – o n thei r tenth weddin g anniversary ? Lik e she’ d don e somethin g wrong, whe n al l sh e ha d eve r don e wa s tried ? Reall y , reall y tried .
    “ Y o u wouldn ’ t recognis e m e no w i f yo u looke d a t my weddin g photos, ” sh e ha d onc e tol d Poll y . “ I wa s a Size 1 0 bac k then . I wa s beautiful , i f I d o sa y s o myself . My hai r wa s lon g an d thic k an d gloss y an d I wa s radian t with healt h an d