Primal Fear

Read Primal Fear for Free Online

Book: Read Primal Fear for Free Online
Authors: Brad Boucher
had supper at our house one night, to talk to my father about his fishing business, and how he wanted to expand his resources.”
    “Into your territory.”
    “Exactly.  He wanted to make a deal with all the local fishermen, a percentage of their catch for a portion of his export cut . . . something along those lines, anyway, I don’t know.  Like I said, I was only a kid, completely uneducated as far as business and finance were concerned.  But I listened to the whole conversation, blown away by the way this guy talked, by the way he presented himself.  He was a very educated man, knew exactly what to say and how to make his pitch.”
    “What was your father’s reaction?”
    “My father?  Man, he hated everything about him.  He was a city-man, and that was the end of it.”  John paused, taking a moment to drain the rest of his beer.  “But I guess I kind of respected the guy.  For the first time in my life, it was like my attention was turned to something outside of our village, something that represented a whole new way of life.  It opened my eyes to other possibilities.
    “It was like . . . overnight, all of a sudden I wanted to learn everything I could about the world, and I started to read anything I could get my hands on.  And then it wasn’t long before I started to want a different life for myself.  I wanted to, you know, break away from the village mentality and see the world.  So, when I was eighteen, I left.” 
    “Is that when you started at the university?”
    “More or less.  I moved down to Montreal, got a job, landed a grant to attend college.  It wasn’t easy.  I mean, I worked my ass off to keep my apartment and maintain my grades.  But I loved every second of it.  Sooner or later I got hooked up with the social sciences group, the whole anthropology thing.  And that’s when it all seemed to click for me.  My past was important again, everything I learned growing up became a part of what I was studying.  And that was it.
    “I studied the mythologies behind the legends, the roots of the belief system that I’d been taught, the one my father still followed.  It was like a moment of perfect clarity.”
    “How do you mean?”
    John shrugged.  “It was like . . . suddenly I had a way to view everything I’d been brought up to believe as a . . . a tool, I guess, to learn about my people, and about the world.”
    “What about your father?  How did he feel about all of this?”
    “I’m sure he was proud of me, on some level, the way a father has to feel if his son is doing well.  But, you know . . . he was never happy about it.  I think he was always disappointed about the path I chose.  I think he saw it as a kind of betrayal, like I turned my back on my people, kind of like I was . . .” 
    John scowled.  “‘I’m sure he felt I was denouncing the old ways.’”
    “Is he still alive?”
    “No.”
    “I’m sorry to hear that.”
    “He died about four years ago.  We kind of came to terms about a year or so before that, but never really, you know . . . clicked when it came to our beliefs.”
    “Did you visit him very often?”
    “Not at first, no.  But eventually, I started to feel it was more important to stay in touch than to, you know . . . let things get worse between us.  It’s one of the only lessons from my childhood that I actually still follow.  The importance of your family unit, your lineage.  So even if my father and I never saw eye to eye on a lot of issues, at least I can say I didn’t abandon my feelings for him.  Whenever I’d visit, we were just . . . I don’t know . . .” 
    “You were just really careful what you talked about?”
    “Pretty much, yeah.”  John smiled, but there was no real pleasure in it. 
    Dr. Morris ordered them another round, and John took a small breather.  It was odd, unburdening himself in front of Sidney this way, but he also felt a great sense of relief.  He didn’t have many friends in the area,

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