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the hilarious event last school
year when the fire alarm was pulled, and we had to stand in the brrr cold snow during
sixth period. I was in gym class, so all I had on was a goofy tee shirt and shorts.
Talk about cold; how I wish for that now! I was pissed at the time, freezing my ass
off; however, snow sounds real nice today, as I wake to a sweaty forehead, sticky
clothes, and this humidity. Ick!
    After three rings, someone has picked up. Now awake and sweaty, all I can think about
is a cool shower, but I won’t get the chance…
    “Jack? Jack? You up? Spud? His ma’s on the phone! Jack!” Criminy! Relax, Pops. As
I step from my bed, I step right on Spud’s foot, as he fell asleep on my floor while
playing some football Nintendo game. I forgot he was there, and he grumbles, but
just rolls over. How come the damn phone didn’t wake him? Why am I the only one who
seems to be on top of things?
    Stepping into the hallway, I meet Dad, who’s dressed in cutoff jean shorts, a White
Sox tee shirt, and his Velcro tennis shoes. He’s holding the cordless phone, a bit
winded from climbing the stairs.
    “Spud’s mom needs him home. She’s pretty mad. He lied, she says, and didn’t tell
her he was staying all night here. He’s likely grounded,” he says, eyes squinting
like he’s not approving this behavior, handing the phone to me.
    Geez, it’s not like he was out on the streets. She could have called here last night.
    Doesn’t matter. Get him up and get moving.
    With that, Dad turns and heads downstairs, and I’m left to tend to the sleeping Spud.
    “Hey,” I gently kick his foot. “You gotta get moving. Yer ma is pissed. Why didn’t
you tell her you were here? Anyway, here’s the phone.” Spud looks at me, like I’m
nuts, as I hand it to him. He wipes his eyes, his long hair a mess. He yawns, taking
the phone.
    “Huh?” he mumbles, clears his throat. “Oh. Sorry. Yeah, Jack’s. Can’t I go to the
shindig this afternoon with them? I’ll get home later. Sorry about that. I forgot.
I thought you and Jer were out all night. Sorry…. Sorry. So?... Okay…. Yup… bye.”
He pushes the “off” button, tosses the phone a few feet from him, pulls the sheet
over his head and mumbles, “Jack, you’re a nerd. Lemme sleep.”
    “Dude, what?” I’m pulling on a tee shirt with my boxers at this point.
    “Ma’s letting me stay. Just gotta know how to talk to her,” he says, through the
sheet as he’s too comfy to pull it off his head. “Anyway, I’m staying here and heading
to Uncle Ned’s party later with you all. Go back to bed.”
    Just as he says it, Ma pops her head in the door. “Hi boys. Spud, everything okay?”
She’s always on the go early. Dressed in pink shorts and a white tee shirt that is
sprinkled with yellow flowers, she looks energetic and ready to take on the day.
It’s kinda funny, she’s so up and at ‘em, a force, yet she’s so tiny and petite at
only 4’10” tall. For a while, as I was growing up, I thought I’d always be a shorty,
too, and was the smallest in my class until eighth grade, but then I shot up several
inches and now am at 5’3”, and still growing, thank you.
    “Yeah, Ma. I talked to my other mom, and she says it’d be okay if I hung out here
until later. Is that all right with you?” Boy, he sure has a way with her. He even
uncovered his head to talk.
    “Of course, hun! By the way,” she beams, “I’m making pancakes and bacon, and Jack’s
favorite thick chocolate milk! So, come on down in about five, okay?” She smiles
at each of us, picks up the phone to take downstairs, then disappears down the hall
and back to her kitchen adventure. Ma always goes overboard when Spud’s here.
    “Dude, you totally got my Ma wrapped around your finger. You gotta move in.”
    “Yeah, it’d be much better than days with Jerry the Jerk. Anyway, I’m gonna sleep
a bit, be downstairs in a few.” Well, it’s useless to argue, so I go do my duties
in the bathroom