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part.”
    Andrew was the one person I’d let into my heart in the last two and half years, and he was already using me. I felt betrayed. It took me back to that Gramercy Park hotel room, to the envelope on the bed with my name on the outside.
Good luck, starshine. You gullible idiot.
    “Don’t be mad at me,” he said. “I just wanted to talk to him. I’m graduating soon, and I don’t have a fucking idea what I’m going to do.”
    “You’re going to paint!”
    “With what money? Working as an escort will get me some short term funds, and probably provide a lot of inspiration too.”
    “Inspiration?” I pushed away my plate. “You don’t get it. You think it’s fun, romantic, sexy to be an escort? It’s not.”
    “I know that.”
    “Not every client writes poetry on your back. A lot of them are assholes. Total assholes. They’re entitled and demanding and they only care about themselves.”
    “Even one good client, one client like W—”
    “W wasn’t a good client. He was an asshole.” The couple at the next table scowled at my language. I lowered my voice and glared at Andrew. “Look, W was handsome and kinky and mysterious, but he wasn’t a good person. He did crazy shit to me.”
    Andrew crossed his arms over his chest. “You told me how hard you fell in love with him. If he did crazy shit to you, you liked it.”
    Yes, I’d liked it. Why was I so angry at the thought of Andrew becoming an escort? I guess because I’d gotten so lost in the business, or maybe because I’d fallen in love with a client, and had my feelings betrayed.
    “W manhandled me and terrified me,” I said. “He called me a whore and a slut. He choked me—more than once—until I passed out. He—he raped me.”
    The R-word was so ugly. Andrew went still, his dark eyes full of confusion and dismay. “How... But... How could that happen? I thought he paid you for sex.”
    I sighed. “It’s hard to explain. He was weird.”
    “Explain it to me.”
    I didn’t think I owed him any explanations, but the story came spilling out. “The first time he let me meet him without a blindfold, I was supposed to watch for him in the Empire Hotel lobby.”
    “How were you supposed to watch for him when you’d never seen him?”
    “That’s just it. I was supposed to guess who he was, and follow him to the elevators. And I did. I guessed correctly, and I followed him, but he pretended to be someone else, and when I followed him into the room, he went all psychopath on me. He ripped off my panties and stuffed them in my mouth, and gagged me with his tie.”
    Andrew’s mouth sagged open. “Holy shit. That’s fucked up.”
    “It was very fucked up.”
    “You thought he was a psycho stranger, but it was him?”
    “I didn’t know what to think. Meanwhile he’s suffocating me, raping me, threatening to kill me.”
    Andrew swallowed hard, and spoke very quietly. “Is it wrong of me to say that sounds really hot?”
    I glowered at him. “It wasn’t hot in the moment. I thought I was going to die.”
    “I know. I’m sorry. But, God, I would love to feel that kind of intensity, that excitement. I’d love to experience it just once.”
    “You think so, but escorting isn’t as sexy as it sounds. I promise you, there are a lot of times you’ll wish you were anywhere else. And you still have to be there, and cooperate, and earn your money. Andrew, please don’t get into escorting. Please think before you act.”
    “I will, I promise. I’m sorry. Don’t be mad at me. I thought I might enjoy the work.” He gazed at me in concern. “Are you mad at me?”
    “Fuck yeah, I’m mad at you.”
    My emotions were in an uproar, from seeing Henry and talking about W, and thinking about Andrew meeting some rich, horny john.
    “What did you say to W when you realized...when you realized it was him?” he asked. “Did you fucking kill him? Did you try to cut off his dick?”
    “I wanted to. I was pretty freaked out. I cried really