Read The Boxer for Free Online

never get rid of the thought that this was a bond dictated primarily by social goals. They had no children. Towardthe end of 1931, Linda announced she’d like to move to America, and Aron answered, “Fine. Go ahead.” A short while later she left, as did London senior, who took tearful leave of Aron and hoped that his son-in-law would have second thoughts and follow them. Aron thought about it and stayed. A few months later he and Linda were divorced, but this did not alter London’s behavior toward Aron in any way. London delegated all sorts of powers to him; perhaps he was actually happy to have such a reliable man in Europe. A relatively comfortable time followed in which Aron concentrated on his job; the business was doing better than ever. Then, finally, Lydia.)
    With this as his past experience, Aron now sat in front of Paulaat the living room table, with flowers on it. They smiled at each other and hardly knew what to say.
    (I want to add that Lydia was the last woman Aron held in his arms. Unlike most of his fellow prisoners, he hadn’t used the few occasions that had presented themselves, first in the ghetto and later in the camp. They often talked about it, incomprehensibly often, he says. For him, this had been the most bearable side effect of his imprisonment.)
    “You still don’t know why I’m here,” Paula said.
    Aron found this strange. He thought he knew very well why she was there. In fact, he could have bet his life on it. But Paula said, “One of our cars is going to Munich tomorrow morning. The route takes it close to Mark’s home, it would be just a tiny detour. Or is this all too sudden?”
    “It is sudden,” Aron said, “but it’s good.”
    “Tomorrow morning at eight, at our office.”
    At that moment, the prospect of seeing Mark so soon excited Aronmore than anything else. He stood up, paced the room, and smoked. He thought of hisfutile attempts to imagine Mark, and he tried again. Paula didn’t disturb him, whether out of courtesy or because of renewed embarrassment is not clear. She sat still and watched him. After a while, she stood up and left the room. In the middle of his wandering Aron stopped. He was troubled because Paula was no longer sitting inher chair. It was definitely not very exciting to watch a middle-aged man as he paced to and fro. From that moment on, he was determined to be more attentive if only she hadn’t already left, or he would be the next time he saw her. Luckily, he says, he found her in the kitchen.
    “I’m looking for glasses.”
    “There should be some in the living room.”
    In the living room she finally unwrapped the package, a bottle of cognac. Aron remembered his wish in the club to buy some liquor for himself; he didn’t remember now if he had just thought about it or had said it out loud. Heput the glasses on the table and poured the drinks. Then Paula said this
puzzling
sentence, “If we wanted to forget everythingelse first, then we would never get around to living.”
    Again, Aron had something to think about. He wanted, he says, totake her words as a familiar noise, as a kind of music, but they had to be decoded — what could Paula have meant? One of the meanings, the somewhat philosophicalaspect of her sentence, was obvious.
    O r should I explain it to you?”
    “No, keep talking,” I say and ask myself why in the world he so often suspects, at precisely the wrong time, that I’m unable to followhis reckoning.
    B ut Aron racked his brains over the other meaning, the second. Did she want him to understand that it was time to put an end to his past life and start a new one, perhaps with her? Or were her words directed less at him than at herself? Presumably it had also happened to me, says Aron, sometimes one says things that are not intended for other ears but only as a validation. Had Paula wanted to bolster Paula? Had she wanted to gather up some favorable wind, like soldiers do when they storm over a field shouting, “Charge!”?