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else.”
     
     “You’re
right, you’re totally right.”
     
     “And
besides, it would guarantee that you’re moving to New York, which, I have
to say, is very appealing to me right now.” He kissed me, one of those
long, lazy kisses it seemed we had personally invented. “But stop
worrying so much. Like you said yourself, you’re still not sure you have
the job. Let’s wait and see.”
     
     We cooked
a simple dinner and fell asleep watching Letterman. I was dreaming about
obnoxious little nine-year-olds having sex on the playground while they swigged
forties of Olde English and screamed at my sweet, loving boyfriend when the
phone rang.
     
     Alex
picked it up and pressed it to his ear but didn’t bother to open his eyes
or say hello. He quickly dropped it next to me. I wasn’t sure I could
muster the energy to pick it up.
     
     “Hello?”
I mumbled, glancing at the clock and seeing that it was 7:15A .M. Who the hell
would call at such an hour?
     
     “It’s
me,” barked a very angry-sounding Lily.
     
     “Hi,
is everything OK?”
     
     “Do
you think I’d be calling you if everything was OK? I’m so hungover
I could die, and I finally stop puking long enough to fall asleep, and I’m
awakened by a scarily perky woman who says she works in HR at Elias-Clark. And
she’s looking for you. Atseven-fifteen in the freakin‘ morning. So
call her back. And tell her to lose my number.”
     
     “Sorry,
Lil. I gave them your number because I don’t have a cell yet. I
can’t believe she called so early! I wonder if that’s good or
bad?” I took the portable and crept out of the bedroom, quietly closing
the door as I went.
     
     “Whatev.
Good luck. Let me know how it goes. Just not in the next couple hours, OK?”
     
     “Will
do. Thanks. And sorry.”
     
     I looked
at my watch again and couldn’t believe I was about to have a business
conversation. I put on a pot of coffee and waited until it had finished brewing
and brought a cup to the couch. It was time to call. I had no choice.
     
     “Hello,
this is Andrea Sachs,” I said firmly, although my voice betrayed me with
its deep, raspy, just-woke-up-ness.
     
     “Andrea,
good morning! Hope I didn’t call too early,” Sharon sang, her own
voice full of sunshine. “I’m sure I didn’t, my dear,
especially since you’ll have to be an early bird soon enough! I have some
very good news. Miranda was very impressed with you and said she’s very
much looking forward to working with you. Isn’t that wonderful?
Congratulations, dear. How does it feel to be Miranda Priestly’s new
assistant? I imagine that you’re just—”
     
     My head
was spinning. I tried to pull myself off the couch to get some more coffee,
water, anything that might clear my head and turn her words back into English,
but I only sank further into the cushions. Was she asking me if I would like
the job? Or was she making an official offer? I couldn’t make sense of
anything she’d just said, anything other than the fact that Miranda
Priestly had liked me.
     
     “—delighted
with this news. Who wouldn’t be, right? So let’s see, you can start
on Monday, right? She’ll actually be on vacation then, but that’s a
great time to start. Give you a little time to get acquainted with the other
girls—oh, they’re all such sweeties!” Acquainted? What?
Starting Monday? Sweetie girls? It was refusing to make sense in my addled
brain. I picked a single phrase that I’d understood and responded to it.
     
     “Um,
well, I don’t think I can start Monday,” I said quietly, hoping
I’d indeed said something coherent. Saying those words had shocked me
into semiwakefulness. I’d walked through the Elias-Clark doors for the
very first time the day before, and was being awakened from a deep sleep to
listen to someone tell me that I was to begin work in three days. It was Friday—at
seven o’clock in the goddamn morning—and they wanted me to start on
Monday? It