Read The Geek Girl and the Scandalous Earl for Free Online

music.
    “Um, Muriel? What do I do if I need to, um, go?”
    “Go?” The maid looked up from arranging the bottles on the table beside the tub.
    “You know.” Jamie mimed the potty dance. “Go.”
    “Oh. Behind the screen there, miss.” She pointed to the far corner.
    “Okay.”
    Jamie took a deep breath, marshaled her courage, and went to face her fate.
    “Ho. Ly. Shit.”
    It was a pot. A literal pot. Not a toilet but an actual, honest-to-God pot. What was she supposed to do? Squat over it? Sit on it? It’d be damn uncomfortable. And what was she supposed to wipe with? Ugh. Just…ugh.
    She decided she’d hold it forever. No way in hell could she go in something like that.
    “Are you well, miss?”
    “Uh, yeah. Fine and dandy. Just frickin’ incredible.”
    The pot seemed to mock Jamie as it sat there. Smug porcelain bastard. You know what? I am not going to let it beat me. I am tough. I was strong enough to survive being dumped, being alone, and then being sucked into a time I know nothing about, so I can conquer my fear of, well, going.
    “Hey, Muriel?”
    “Yes, miss?”
    Jamie poked her head around the screen to find the maid. “I’m not used to doing things this way. Any tips?”
    A confused look crossed the thin face. “To relieve yourself?”
    Jamie nodded, feeling like a complete dumbass.
    Without any comment, Muriel rounded the screen, showed Jamie the neatly folded pile of cloths beside the pot, and mimed the proper technique. Jamie was deeply grateful that the maid didn’t treat her like she was stupid, even though she was acting like a clueless idiot.
    After quite possibly the most embarrassing two minutes of Jamie’s life, Muriel left her alone to take care of business. Jamie was successful in her efforts and left the hideous pot to mock her behind the screen some more.
    After the toileting issue, it seemed stupid to feel self-conscious about getting help bathing, but Jamie couldn’t help asking Muriel to turn around while she undressed. Hey, she used to be one of those girls that changed in the stall during high school gym class.
    Muriel shook her head but turned her back anyway.
    The bath, while not Jamie’s preferred method of getting clean, was okay once she got used to it. The water was nice and warm, and the tub’s position in front of the fire kept it from cooling too quickly. The bottles that Muriel sat beside the tub were filled with soaps, oils, and other scented goodies. Washing her hair was sort of harrowing, since she had to slip down beneath the water to get her hair wet, and it didn’t really feel rinsed even after Muriel dumped two whole buckets of water on her head, but it was better than feeling gritty all night.
    Muriel handed Jamie a towel, and while she dried, the maid opened a trunk at the foot of the bed.
    “Here, miss. Mrs. Knightsbridge said for you to use the late countess’s clothing. This night rail is quite soft.”
    Jamie swallowed. She didn’t love the idea of wearing some dead woman’s clothes, but what choice did she have? The only things she had with her were filthy, skimpy, and completely inappropriate for both the weather and the company. She remembered enough about history to know that exposing that much skin was a no-no.
    “Okay.”
    The maid helped Jamie pull the gown on over her head. The swaths of fabric billowed around Jamie, choking her. She hadn’t worn this much clothing since they’d gotten that freak snowstorm two years ago. She thanked the maid anyway, though. A dead person’s too-voluminous nightgown was better than being naked in Mike’s house. Although seeing Mr. Firth’s twin naked would certainly make this trip much more interesting. If, that is, Mrs. K was right and he wasn’t a murderer.
    “Shall I fetch you a supper tray, miss?”
    “Shouldn’t I go get it myself?”
    Muriel’s eyes went wide and Jamie could swear she saw horror written on the maid’s features. “Oh, no, miss! You are his lordship’s guest. It