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was wearing a tie-dyed shirt under his sport coat and he’d dyed his hair this weird rich creamy Nutella color. I told him all kinds of embarrassing stuff. I kept saying that I was turning over a new leaf. Am I?
    Lonely, yeah. Or I don’t know. I haven’t seen Becca or Francoise more than once or twice all year. I’ve just been wandering around by myself. But actually I kind of like it. I’m not depressed or anything but I’m more thoughtful. When I saw Becca she yelled at me for not calling her. Like that’s supposed to make me want to call her? I’d rather just hang out with the Chloes.
    Do you still think you’re going to tell Dad at Christmas? I guess I don’t have any idea what you should do. I’ve just been assuming he’ll be a jerk about it but who knows, right? Have I told you about my friend Big Ben? I hope someday you’ll meet him. He was on the football team and then one day during halftime of some big game he told everyone he was gay and he hated football. He walked right out of the locker room and all the way back to campus in full uniform. Then he had to reapply to Tripoli because football credits don’t count toward a bachelor’s degree, and now he’s a lit major and he smokes cloves. Not bad, right? I’ve been going to freshman parties with him and it’s good because it reminds me of a more innocent time. Do you get nostalgic for freshman year? I know it’s only been two years but I really feel like things are different now. Freshmen are so excited about everything!
    Ben showed me a video of one of the Tripoli kickers falling down when he tried to kick a field goal. He fell twice in one game. Then the other kicker came in to replace him, but the other guy, I mean the backup, took his helmet off at midfield and started crying. I’ll send you the link. That is some troubling shit, man! Like actual unabashed weeping on the football field. But Ben says some of the players are part of a mandatory drug trial and it’s fucking them up. They use these poor guys like guinea pigs, I think. And anyway, college football is a pretty grim setup even if Genutrex or whatever isn’t sticking needles in them all the time. Think about it: The players are mostly black and they work really hard and a crucial condition of their employment, according to the NCAA, is that they don’t get paid! They go up and down a field in all kinds of weather while white men yell at them from the sidelines. And also there’s this whole idea that they’re so well cared for, the college gives them food and clothes and housing, everybody admires them, yeah yeah yeah. The white coach knows best. Then the players end up with injuries and multiple concussions and maybe they blow their brains out. Go Tyrants!
    This is Professor Kabaka talking. I think he’s really gotten into my head. I told you about him? My Atlantic history professor. He says things like this: He says, “Slavery is the rule in human history.” He has a loud voice and he’s beautiful and he makes these statements that you can’t argue with. “Human enterprises naturally tend toward exploitative arrangements.” Governments, businesses, civic organizations—everything tends toward slavery, he says, and in order to prevent slavery from coming back and reestablishing itself, you have to actively resist it. He says that good intentions are not enough. You have to actively avoid the sweatshop shoes and the cheap electronics and the plantation bananas. It’s kind of an incredible way to think about daily life, you know? The idea that our choices are what make economic systems work one way or another way or not at all. The problem is that it’s exhausting and miserable to live this way! You spend all day sweating over these choices and then you think, “I’ll just sit down here and take a load off and watch a little college football . . .” And