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college essays. He’s not equipped to deal with … ”
    Loss?
    Grief?
    Crippling guilt?
    â€œAnything real,” I finished, twisting the shower off. For a minute I just stood there, shivering in the cold. I knew I needed to get Mom out of there, but I couldn’t move.
    â€œSweetie, I just need to know you’re all right. At least if you lived in the house, I’d be able to see for myself … ”
    Oh. So that’s what this was about. “I can’t move back in,” I said, so softly I didn’t think she’d hear me.
    But she did. Super-sonic mom hearing, I guess. “You say that, but your father’s been talking—”
    â€œHe doesn’t want me there.”
    â€œIt’s not that. He’s just worried—”
    â€œLook, Mom, I really can’t do this right now.” I threw my towel around my waist, holding tightly to the ends. “I’ve got a lot of homework to do. And some of the guys are going to call later, to talk about, uh … soccer techniques.”
    Sure . B ecause that ever happens.
    But she didn’t know that. And my comment seemed to have the desired effect. I could hear the smile in her voice when she said, “You’re making a lot of friends, aren’t you?”
    â€œYup. Tons,” I lied. “I think it’s been really good for me to be part of a team.”
    â€œThat’s good. Great. Well, listen, why don’t we talk later … ”
    â€œSure,” I said, pulling back the curtain. I had this big, fake grin plastered on my face. “But don’t worry, okay? I’m feeling a lot better. You don’t have to worry about me.”
    â€œGood.” She exhaled, the lines softening on her face. “Maybe tonight, you can come by—”
    â€œMom, I really need to get to work.” I ushered her out of the bathroom, glancing quickly over at the window.
    I saw nothing.
    â€œThose teachers are really working you hard,” she said as I stubbed my toe on my desk chair. The pain was sharp and immediate.
    Mother f—
    I closed my eyes and saw Lora’s body, lifeless and bloody, lying on the ground beneath the window.
    I closed my eyes and saw Aaron.
    Maybe I did need therapy.
    â€œIt’s the end of the year,” I said, shaking as Mom stepped through my door. “Things’ll calm down soon.”
    Now she wouldn’t look me in the eye. It was like she was holding something back. But I couldn’t worry about it because I was so clos e to being free from her. “Listen,” I said, easing the door closed inch by inch. “I really am fine. I promise.”
    Some lies are necessary.
    Mom smiled. I smiled back and shut the door, locking it.
    Then I bolted over to the window.
    â€œPlease be all right,” I whispered. I couldn’t yell, because Mom might hear me, but I couldn’t bring myself to look down either. If Lora was dead, there was nothing I could do about it.
    My eyes started to stray down, without my permission.
    But I couldn’t do it, wouldn’t do it, couldn’t do it.
    â€œLora,” I hissed, terrified my mom would come out of the garage and see her clinging to the ledge.
    Sure, that’s why I’m terrified.
    â€œIt’s all clear,” I said into the empty air, my eyes straying to the base of the garage. I saw cement and the manicured edge of the grass.
    No blood.
    No bones bent.
    A rustling sound caught my attention. I turned to the left, relief flooding my body as Lora’s face appeared around the backside of the garage. She was following the little ledge, impossibly light and fast, like a walker on a tightrope. I wanted to close my eyes until she reached me, but I couldn’t afford the possibility of her slipping just as she came into my grasp.
    When she finally reached the window, she practically fell into my arms. Or maybe I was reaching for her. Then I was pulling her through the frame,