Read The Sleeping Salesman Enquiry for Free Online

straightforward case for a lawyer. I don’t think Enquire Within is well enough qualified to help you, Alf.”
    “How about another pot of tea? I haven’t finished telling you yet. The fact is, as far as I’m concerned, we was married in the sight of God, an’ there’s no way of undoing that. As long as ye both shall live, an’ all that.”
    “No more tea for me, thanks. But I’ll sit with you, if you want more. Actually, I wouldn’t say no to another rock cake. As to the divorce, aren’t you being a bit of a dog in the manger? You don’t want her, but you won’t let anyone else have her?”
    When they were served, Alf resumed. “The thing is, young Gus, I think she might have been shacked up with a bloke all these years, and now he wants to marry her. Make it legal, an’ that. Maybe put a gun to her head? Well, the more trouble I can make for her, the better I shall like it. She put me through it when we was living together, I can assure you of that. I didn’t go to church, an’ that, but we were both Catholics, and that goes deep. She knew I wouldn’t divorce her then, and I won’t now. When I go, I mean to go with my image of a nasty old man safely intact! What do you say to that? Can you keep her off my back? That’s all I want. Tell her there’s no chance, and she’ll just have to carry on like she’s been doing. All I want is a bit o’ peace, a game of darts, and a couple of pints in the pub. Not a load of legal stuff and notices in the local paper. No, you tell her, boy.”
    “I’m sure we can help,” Gus said, though he was far from sure. “I must take the whole case to my colleagues for discussion, and then I’ll be in touch. Roy will be particularly interested to hear about your predicament, you being neighbours in the past.”
    “You’d better think twice about that stuff I told you about him and Ethel, my old flame.”
    “Why? Wasn’t it true?”
    “Ah,” said Alf, struggling to his feet. “That’d be telling, wouldn’t it?”
    • • •
    BY THE TIME Gus got off the return bus in Barrington, he was still confused. He got halfway home and then remembered Whippy.
    “How could you forget her, Gus?” said Deirdre. She had stocked up on chocolate cake and homemade shortbread, and was leaving the shop looking guilty.
    “Thought you were on a diet?” he said. “Anyway, I love you as you are, so no need to hide the goodies from me.”
    “Never mind about dieting,” she said huffily. “Did you find Roy’s man at the bus stop?”
    “Oh yes, I found him, all right! I’ve spent a happy afternoon trying to sort out truth from fiction. All shall be told at our next meeting, unless Ivy wants to get us together sooner. Here, let me carry those for you.”
    “No, thanks. You’ve got a dog to collect, remember?”
    “Right! See you soon, Deirdre love. Must go now. Miriam’s promised me a slap-up lunch, with a new bone for Whippy.”
    Deirdre was almost sure that Gus had no evil designs on Miriam, but she regarded him as her property and did not like to hear about her rival’s latest move. Bones for his dog now! The woman was pathetic.
    “Fine,” she said. “Enjoy yourself. I’ll think of you on the sagging sofa whilst I am languishing in the arms of the squire in his stately home.”
    Gus laughed. “I do love you, you know,” he said. “In spite of everything.”
    • • •
    IVY HAD SEEN Deirdre walking by Springfields, and now saw her returning with shopping bags bulging.
    “Do you think she’s given up driving the Bentley to Oakbridge to shop at the supermarket? Of course, there’s the weekly hairdo as well. But those full bags look to me like weekly supplies. Has she started to think of the environment at last?”
    “Probably not, dearest,” said Roy sweetly. “I think she stocks up on Miriam’s baking once a week, and shares it with us on Thursdays.”
    “Which reminds me, shall we get together tomorrow for tea? Sunday tea is always nice here in