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from the hour we met.”
    “Because you were never fully honest with me!” I had to pause, draw in a ragged breath. I was tired and out of sorts. Seeing Dudley in the hall had rattled my nerves and fatigue dragged on me like wet wool. This was not the time or place for a confrontation, and still I could not help myself. The last thing I wanted was to be a pawn in another gambit against Dudley, with my own life at stake. Taking Cecil by the arm, I drew him further away from Walsingham.
    “You saw how Dudley reacted when he saw me,” I went on in a low voice. “He’s hell-bent on vengeance because I thwarted him. I helped Elizabeth escape when his father ruled in her brother’s stead; I brought his family down by working to see her sister Mary to the throne. And the last time I went up against him, when he was imprisoned in the Tower, I coerced letters from him that would have incriminated Elizabeth in his plot to depose her sister. Dudley hates me. He always has. He also has the cunning, if he sets his mind to it, to realize we keep a secret from her—about me. If he discovers I am part Tudor myself, the last-born son of her own aunt, Mary of Suffolk, it will be my doom. He knows Elizabeth will not take kindly to any threat to her throne. Her own father King Henry had men beheaded for less.”
    “Your imagination runs away with you,” said Cecil. “Dudley will never find out the truth of who you are. Moreover, even if he did, no one would believe him, much less Elizabeth. His enmity toward you is so overt, it makes him look desperate.” He stepped closer. “The threat to your well-being is less pressing than the threat he poses to this entire realm. He may wish to see you ruined, but he is far more committed to his own aggrandizement. Need I remind you that he has always sought the crown of king-consort?” When I did not answer, Cecil nodded. “No, I see that I do not. You know as well as I do how high Dudley aims, and once a woman loses her virtue, regardless of her rank, she has lost it forever. One moment of weakness on her part, and Dudley could win the biggest prize of all. If he does, then we will all indeed be at his mercy.”
    The gravity in his tone gave me pause. “You talk as if you believe she would actually marry him. Have you any proof that she … that they have…” The words stuck in my throat. The very thought of Dudley and Elizabeth becoming lovers sickened me.
    “No, I have no proof,” admitted Cecil, to my relief. “But you also know there has always been that possibility. She cannot see, or doesn’t want to see, how dangerous he is. Now, for the first time in her life, everything is hers for the taking—or so she believes. Becoming queen has clouded her judgment. Like most inexperienced new monarchs, she gives no credence to the wolves waiting to devour her. And we both know that Dudley is the worst wolf of all.”
    I had to agree. Nevertheless, I still thought he discounted Elizabeth’s capability. She might love Dudley but after having fought so long to obtain her throne, I did not think she was about to surrender power to anyone. Still, the very fact that Cecil had reason to doubt sent a chill through me. I was not sure I wanted to hear all the reasons why he harbored such a fear.
    “He’s still married, isn’t he?” I countered. “She’ll never consent to be his mistress.”
    “For now, yes, but it is the only obstacle that impedes him, and I’ve reason to believe that obstacle may soon disappear. His wife is gravely ill. My informants report she has a malignant growth in her breast. Should she die…”
    “Does Elizabeth know?” I said, dreading his response.
    “Yes. I told her. Indeed, I warned her that to show favor to a man like Dudley can only blacken her reputation. She would not heed me, saying that while she may have made me her secretary of state, my purview does not extend to her private affairs. One of her first official acts was to grant Dudley a title.