Read When Parents Text: So Much Said...So Little Understood for Free Online

dad?
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    DAD : Peace on earth good will to all.
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    ME : No. Really.
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    DAD : Fine. Boxer briefs… Calvin Klien or Puma Size 34

     
     

    Dad Gift Guide V
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    ME : Hey, what do you want for Christmas?
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    DAD : remington 1187 premier shotgun
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    ME : LOL, k, what else?
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    DAD : hair
     
    Dad Gift Guide VI
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    ME : what do you want for christmas, dad?!
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    (nine days later)
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    DAD : Coffee-starbucks,dark roast (Ethiopian, Guatemalan, or Latin American Blend); note cards (postcard size ONLY- with a nice border, thick stock (for MEN); reading glasses (3 pack if you can find it); 2.5 power Uniball pens-the pack from office max-vision needle, micropoint, paul shanklin CD-songs of the revolution (political satire) pties with patterns -i have enough solids- (you can get them at tjmaxx so you don’t have to spend a lot of money)
     

    Dad Gift Guide VII
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    ME : What do you want for Christmas?
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    DAD : Hi. We have a new cheese lasagna recipe. My list; Bananagram and .09 Pentel lead pencil. Love you.
     
    Trader Joe’s Turkey
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    MOM : Hey! I was just looking in the Trader Joe’s flyer so, I guess you’ll be having Tofurkey for Thanks giving! Tofobble, fobble!!! :)
     
    Thanksgiving
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    MOM : Can you please tell the relatives you’re pregnant so I don’t accidentally say something? I’m afraid to speak.
     

    Subtle Guilt Trip
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    MOM : we got the tree do u want to decorate on monday with everyone or should i do it? there is no right answer we all need to be honest
     
    Hanukkah Commute
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    ME : Wires down at penn station, i’ll take the bus back
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    MOM : Ok be careful!!!
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    ME : of what?
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    MOM : I don’t know, it’s windy!
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    ME : but i’m commuting underground...
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    MOM : that’s true, HAPPY HANUKKAH!!!!
     
    Ten
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    MOM : On a scale of 1 to 10 how much would you like to have a digital picture frame?
     

    Camel
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    DAD : Put a new light in the camel so your friends would stop making fun of the nativity set on the lawn.
     
    Jolly
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    MOM : Fuck santa. If I had a million little elves helping me and random people feeding me cookies, I’d be jolly all the time too.
     
    Nativity
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    MOM : Can you go look for Joseph? A neighbor said he was missing.
     
    Ornament Choices
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    MOM : Do u want a pickle that calls out hints to where hes hiding ornament or a reindeer with a grill with food on his butt for ur ornament?
     

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
     
    Who better to wish you happy birthday than the people who gave you life?

    Twenty-Seven
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    MOM : Wow I wanted to be first. But I missed it 6am. Was too late. You are half my age today. 27 +27 = 54
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    ME : Well my bday in Australia started yesterday.
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    MOM : ok
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    (two hours later)
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    MOM : We r getting red velvet cream pie, from Maria calendars in your honor
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    (twenty minutes later)
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    MOM : They were out no pie in honor

     
     

    Nineteen
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    DAD : Happy birthday baby!!
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    DAD : are you one
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    DAD : are you two
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    DAD : are you three
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    DAD : are you four
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    DAD : are you five
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    DAD : are you six
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    ME : oh please no.
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    DAD : are you seven
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    DAD : are you eight
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    DAD : are you nine
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    DAD : are you ten
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    DAD : . . .
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    DAD : . . .
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    ME : 19! yay good guess.
     

    Balloons
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    MOM : Check your schedule and let me know whats better, which day? what time? if your bringing friends?how many?what you want to eat??????XOXO
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    ME : okay party planner
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    MOM : Oh I love that! I’m your party planner! :+) O O <-balloons
     
    Bon Jovi
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    ME : mom what do you want for your birthday
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    MOM : A nice mat 2 stand on in front of the sink, a pretty hand soap dispenser or bon jovi in my cupboard
     
    Twenty-First
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    DAD : mom says she told you to be careful, i say get drunk and puke. love you
     

    Virtual Message
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    DAD : Please send your mother a virtual message for her birthday.
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    ME : Do you mean an e-mail?
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    DAD : Here is a sample “Happy