Read Zombiez! for Free Online

“I think this is the place,” he whispered
out loud as he held her there. They both looked around for any sign
of the man in the red beret.
    “How can you tell?” she asked, standing
awkwardly with her arm in his grip.
    “Because...I remember that tree.” He pointed
at an elm about 20 feet away.
    As their eyes adjusted to the woodsy
darkness, a bench appeared at the base of that very elm tree. It
had two standard-looking black briefcases on it.
    Albiers let her arm go and whooped with glee.
This was always Jennifer's least favorite part of the bribery and
influence cycle. He was fond of saying that the actual loot one
received in a quid-pro-quo did not matter – the bribe was always
its own reward. Jennifer found this attitude profoundly disturbing,
especially for a public servant, and changed the subject whenever
he brought it up. For Albiers, the very act of being bribed meant
that he was bona fide powerful. He was obviously tickled
pink to see not one but two containers full of cash sitting on the
bench.
    “I guess the man just left the stuff
here...are you sure this is ok?” asked a concerned Jennifer to
Albiers, who just shrugged his shoulders, picked up the briefcase,
and pressed his nose to one of its leather-bound edges.
    “Smells like monay!” Albiers loudly
pronounced, sniffing it like it was the morning's bacon.
    “Sure, but something doesn't feel right,” she
whispered, crouching down and looking around wildly at the dark
greenery surrounding the clearing. “We're being watched.”
    Albiers gave her a wobbly scolding look. He
spoke out loud again: “You're crazy, baby!”
    The groaning became audible and started
moving towards them from all sides.
    “Who's there?” Albiers said, looking around
violently as his assistant tried in vain to cover his big stupid
mouth.
     breaking>
    A nightmare had come to life in these woods
for the two of them, and Jennifer was frozen. Her brain was trying
to make sense of the terrible noises coming from the black woods
all around her. It was probably just deer and squirrels, she said.
Nobody was ever out here in the middle of the night, so nobody
probably knew what deer and squirrels did in the dark, or what it
sounded like.
     breaking>
    Albiers and Jennifer looked at each other
with terrified eyes, and this shared look of panic made both of
their hearts jump into their respective pharynxes. Albiers handed
her the non-nose-assaulted briefcase and grabbed her by the
hand.
    “Where the hell are we going, Albiers?” It
was the first time she had ever called him by his first name.
    the plural for the alive human English word “brain”>
    Jennifer screamed and followed her drunk boss
through a narrow path between some trees. Albiers ran face-first
into a half-rotted human skeleton-man, which was somehow upright
and walking and saying words with its half-rotted vocal cords. It
clawed at his neck. Albiers backed away too quickly for Jennifer to
avoid, and they both ended up laying on their backs on the dirty
woodland floor. Another walking dead man appeared next to the one
the congressman's face ran into, and he also seemed quite
interested in the culinary aspects of their brains. Jennifer swung
her briefcase wildly at the second zombie's leg, knocking it down
and breaking it into a thousand pieces of flesh and bones. Some of
them were obviously not very sturdy.
    “Stop! It'll open and all the money will
spill out!”

III
    The scientist's brain was on the move again,
but this time it was just following the rest of his body. A giant
beclawed and bemuscled gray arm came out of the
now-slightly-uncovered stone box in the front of the chapel and
slammed upward into his sternum, lifting him off the ground and
directly towards the ring of windows. Before anyone could react,
the very smart man was crashing though a stained glass rendition of
a lake of fire (or blood, it was