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slope on the far side of I-205 from where I was. The entire slope was strung with what had to be hundreds of coils of razor wire. I could see a few of the walking dead tangled in the stuff. I could hear more in the darkness, which is how I initially guessed that the razor wire was all the way down the hill.
    I knew that these yahoos had to have a way in, so I began skirting, looking for a break. That is where I found the first guard. He was up on what looked like nothing more than a reinforced lifeguard tower—maybe twenty feet tall. I watched for a few minutes and determined it was just one person. He was armed with at least a crossbow. I watched him peg a couple of those things that “figured out” that there might be something to eat up in the tower and began slapping at one of the girders or support beams.
    I waited until I didn’t see anything staggering about, and I baited my first trap. I stumbled out from a small cluster of vehicles and moaned as pathetically as possible, “No! I can’t have my baby now. Please, not now!” Then I dropped to the ground and crawled on my knees to a car I’d already checked, ensuring it was empty. I yanked open the door and made a show of crawling into the backseat.
    Hooray for me! I could see a dark shadow climbing down the tower’s ladder. I set the gun on the floor—safety off—as an emergency weapon, with the barrel aimed at the door where my “rescuer” would be standing. Then I slid my spiked spear up next to myself where all I’d have to do was grab it. This next bit is what I think sealed the idiot’s fate. I yanked my pants down, and then pulled my shirt and coat up just enough to reveal my slightly rounding belly. With my knees up it looked more pronounced. Then I just started making little breathing noises, panting like I imagined I would in labor.
    I gripped my spear when his shadow fell across the open door. There was enough moon reflected off the snow that I got a look at his eyes staring right between my legs! What a perv!
    “ Ain’tcha just a tiny gal with a little belly bump ‘bout ta pop!” Even his voice was filthy. What he said next made my conscience feel much better about what I was about to do. “Let’s get that baby outta there so’s we can use that hole for its proper purpose.”
    I made a moan like I was getting a burst of pain and reached out with my left hand. When he leaned forward, I already had a grip on my spear and, with my right hand, I thrust it forward and up. I’d hoped to get him in the throat. Instead, there was a nasty ‘clink’ and ‘crunch’ as I drove the iron spike into his mouth, shattering his teeth.
    He fell back, hands grabbing the smooth handle, jerking it out of my grasp. I sat up fast, yanking my pants up like I’d just heard my folks’ car pull into the driveway. He was sitting on his ass tugging the spear out of the back of his throat when I reached him. I saw shadows moving, coming towards the commotion, and knew I had to act fast. His crossbow was a few feet away, so all I could do was snatch my weapon from his blood soaked hands. Whipping it around, I brought the butt right into his temple and he fell over. I grabbed his crossbow, the pouch on his thigh with a few bolts in it, and my shotgun, then I scrambled up into the tower.
    I watched as the half-dozen zombies found him. He was still alive. I wondered at first, but then his feet started kicking as they ripped open his beer-belly and started pulling out ribbons of intestine and chunks of unidentifiable viscera. Soon, there was a huge, dark stain in the snow that had traces leading off in several directions.
    I used my time up here to scout the surroundings. I could see a fair distance considering that it was still dark. The moon was reflecting off the snow and, judging by the sky, it was gonna be a clear day when the sun came up. The good news was that there was very little zombie activity on the interstate. I imagine that—except for the ones trapped