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his tongue in Jake’s ear.
    That was the final straw. Jake jumped up, knocking Revor to the ground. Revor landed neatly on his feet, unhurt except in his little furry heart. He’d only meant to help.
    Baby pulled Jake down next to her on the Voodoo Lounge, and leaned towards him. The sweet plum of her mouth was just inches from his…
you were everythingI’ve always wanted.
Inhaling her honeyed breath along with her words, Jake’s stomach settled. His loins began once again, almost imperceptibly this time, to stir. Imperceptibly, perhaps, to your average Earth girl. Aliens, however, are known for nothing if not the sharpness of their senses. They all stared with frank interest at the subtle sinuations of Jake’s trouser snake under the fabric of his jeans.
    Bruise-arsed, dumb-struck and, despite everything, hopelessly on-turned, Jake flushed and covered his crotch with his hands.
    You’re a quiet boy.
    Reaching behind her, Baby pressed a button on the faintly glowing control panel. One of the doors slid open, revealing another pie-slice shaped room. This one was more brightly lit. A laboratory table occupied the centre of the room, behind which stood a bench and cabinets. Hanging from the wall were all manner of sterile-looking tools like medical instruments.
Now
what?
    Try to stay calm…
Baby rose and, standing in the doorway, gestured to him.
And welcome to the sexual experimentation chamber.
    Struggling to hang onto some last thread of cool, Jake steadied his voice and said, as casually as possible, ‘So, what brings you to Earth?’
    Baby smiled. Her smile was so dazzling that he had to narrow his eyes and, finally, turn his head. Light poured in sweet, seductive waves from her minty skin, lime-lolly eyes and coconut-ice teeth. It washed over him, embracing him in warm, fragrant tendrils and making him feel suddenly, irresistibly, sleepy. A sweet musk with a touch of nutmeg and orange peel filled his nostrils, and his eyelids succumbed to the pull of a strange, hot gravity. ‘Youwant to know what brings us to Earth?’ she was saying. Jake perceived Baby’s answer but dimly as he slumped down, slid off the lounge and passed over the threshold to Out. ‘Three things, Earth boy,’ she was saying. ‘Just three. Sex, drugs and rock n roll.’

    Sex, drugs and rock n roll indeed. For all their cosmic nous, yoonal kyoool and Moc Dartened sophistication, the girls didn’t understand certain crucial things about life on Earth. They didn’t realise, for instance, that Eros was potentially a
big
problem for Earthlings. The truth was that Eros was practically out of control. In fact, it was believed in some circles that Eros might just destroy the world.
    Eros. Greek god of love and sexual desire. Son of Aphrodite. Winged nudist. Hormonal hoon.
Australian Women’s Forum
man of the month, every month. The French tickler of the soul. The imp in every impulse.
    Eros. Biggest motherfucker of an asteroid ever to orbit the ‘hood. Remember the meteor that got T Rex and all the other Dinosaurs Jr and Sr? Next to Eros, that was a mere pebble-ette, a flyweight of a flyby, a gentle lentil.
    Now, Eros, 433 Eros, member of the Amor group to you astronomers, was falling in lust. Love. Whatever. The point is, Eros was falling. Or trying to. And it was all the Babes’ fault. You don’t moon or blow kisses at an asteroid and expect life to go on exactly as before, do you? It’s just common sense, really.
    You want Tales of a Scorched Earth, Miss Mellon Collie? Just wait for Eros to come crashing into your life.

    Back in the saucer…
    Baby looked down at Jake’s prone form. She prodded him with her foot. Though sound asleep, his mouth pursed slightly, as though anticipating a kiss. Underneath heavy lids and a thick fringe of curly brown lashes his eyes darted, chasing a dream. The bold arcs of his eyebrows lay motionless on his high, clear forehead. The silver ring that pierced the left brow glinted in the clinical light